Poems of life

Her

I am chained to my words and my never ending morals, making me question if I should stop being verbal?

She told me she loved me and if I ever left her she'd cry, and if I was ever without her she'd die?

My feelings made words complicated to say when she broke up with me because she didn't think she was gay?

Though she didn't quite say that, after calling me selfish, for being hurt when she left me helpless?

My room is filled with the memories we made Of us snuggled in bed and thoughts exchanged?

She promised she would never call me my biggest insecurities
To never laugh or point them out in spite of maturities?

Yet that's exactly what she did.
Not even realizing the damage that had been amid.

With trust lost and feelings hurt
Leaving me empty and broken with what small hope I had left in the dirt?

Complaining about me not being there
When all I wanted to do was care?

But she never seemed to let me in
Breaking trust in me from the beginning?

So I sat on my bed and cried and cried
Until my heart had calmed and my eyes were dried.

She told me to get out of her life,
After she told me I'd be her wife?

I called my friend, who helped me get through the breakdown

But yet she couldn't help with the whole town
Knowing that I was gay and my girlfriend had left in fear of what they'd say.

So I continue cry every night,
Bringing out my feelings and trying to put things right.

Though I don't want to talk to her, I wish I could apologize
Because she was my best friend and I didn't realize

The risk of losing her if we fought
Teaching me a lesson I didn't know had to be taught?

For now, I'll just sit and write this poem
Hoping to express all my feeling with a patternless anthem

My heart still aches but it won't last forever
I know I'll get through it, even though I still love her.