𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬 ~ 𝘰𝘳 ~ 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵🎃 {𝗉.𝗆} STILL WRITING.

8~ trigger warning

Sorry for not updating in so long, I've been through so much shit over like Christmas and I was put in like a stress place where I stayed and it kinda sucked :/ sorry

LISTEN TO MUSIC WHEN YOU SEE "🦋" I PROMISEEEE !!

NOT READ OVER / SRY FOR MISTAKES.

*your pov*

by the end of me explaining everything about Avani, everyone had tears in their eyes, even Noen who I saw looking down guiltily. It hurts me.

Leila was crying harshly into Griffins chest as he cooed her and rubbed her back. Noen was quick to speak up after I started sobbing once again.

"I-I'm sorry.. (y/n) it's horrible- that's horrible! I never knew and I c-can't even. I'm sorry."

He sighed before sniffing. "Hey, hey it's okay. Noen you mean so much to me as a friend, I can't push you away because of something that isn't your fault."

I sadly chuckled while embracing him into a hug in which he returned. After a couple of minutes of dead silence, Anthony, griffin, Noen and Leila decided to make a move, leaving just Payton and I.

We retreated back to his room upstairs and said nothing. I went to say something with my mouth, but cobwebs and flies came out..

PLS UNDERSTAND THAT ||-//

*slight trigger warning..?*

I started sobbing as Payton went to the bathroom, no words had been said, but I could still hear his voice talking to me, we're over.

It felt like knives stabbing into me, slicing my skin leaving me numb and swallowed by the pain of the silence. It was unbearable!

Payton slowly walked back into the room and I looked down guiltily as I felt warm arms wrap around me, killing the isolation.

"I-I'm sorry for not saying anything. I should've. I don't hate you, I never could, I was scared I'd say something wrong and hurt you.."

He shakily whispered in my ear. I sadly smiled and pulled out from the embrace he had.

"I-it's okay, dont apologise, please! It's okay, I'm okay, your okay and it's not your fault this happened."

"So- did you wanna stay the night..? Or did you wanna go home, I understand if-"

"I don't want to seem shitty, but could I go home..?"

"yes of course, bubs, I'll drive you."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••🦋••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I watched as Payton's car drove into the distance of the night. When I was sure he was gone, I ran upstairs. Into the bathroom.

I grabbed my book, I hid it always.

I hadn't used it since counciling and now I was bringing it back, the one and only, the one I could always turn to in shit times.

It wasn't just a book, instead a hollowed one. It wasn't the book at all in fact- it was what was inside the hollowed walls.

my razor.

I stared at it in awe. I missed this.

*trigger warning if you are very sensitive to this , please , please skip❤️*

I sat in the bathtub with my razor.

No- I wasn't gonna take my life completely,

Instead I thought I'll just watch a little, then I'm done I promise.