Chapter 27 : Surgery

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Max resigned from her job and found another one a bit closer to her apartment, so it was fine. The ambience was a bit better but not that much. At least they weren't mocking here for being lesbian, as they didn't know, but she was still the only girl and she had the amazing surprise to see that Lisa was working here! It was just a matter of time before it became Hell. Anyway, at least she had a job and she could pay Jane's sessions, even if Jane accepted the fact that she needed help and began to pay herself her help.

The redhead was waiting in her car, in front of a building. Jane got out of this building and went in the car. She didn't look at Max, she didn't want her to notice her red puffy eyes. But the redhead wasn't fooled, she knew Jane was crying during her sessions, and she was glad she was, she wasn't keeping all her emotions for herself.

- "'Want a caramel?" proposed Max, holding out the candy.

Jane sniffed, looked at her girlfriend's hand before shyly taking the caramel with her shaking hand.

- "Thanks..." said Jane with a small voice.

The girl opened it with difficulties before putting it in her mouth.

- "You're ready?" asked softly the redhead.

- "I'm scared..." sniffed Jane.

- "I know. You're gonna be okay, it's gonna be fast."

- "Yeah..."

Max started the car and drove away. After thirty minutes of ride, they arrived in front of a dermatologist surgery.

- "I can go alone," told Jane.

- "I know, I just need to take care of some papers," answered Max.

- "Okay."

The two girls got out of the car and went inside. Max took care of the papers while Jane was standing behind her; as close as possible; looking around. When the redhead finished, she was going to go back in her car, but Jane stopped her by grabbing her wrist.

- "Can you wait with me?" asked shyly Jane.

- "Of course, let's go," smiled Max.

The redhead slid her hand in her girlfriend's and took her to the waiting room. Jane couldn't stop moving and shaking. She was stressing so much that she thought it was her last moments alive. Even if she was feeling a bit better, she still had some struggles with public places and physical contacts, and today she had both! But it was necessary, she knew it, she wouldn't be hurt again.

- "I'll go alone," said Jane.

- "Sure, no problem," answered Max.

- "Miss Brown?"

Jane felt her heart stopping. It was too quick, she wasn't ready!

Max stood and held out her hand to her.

- "You don't have to go alone you know, it's kinda scary, I would prefer having someone with me too," reassured the redhead.

Jane loudly gulped, nodded, and grabbed Max's hand before following her in the surgery room. It wasn't a surgery room like in hospitals, it was warmer, with only two doctors and one professional bed or armchair, she didn't know, it was a mix of both.

- "Hello Jane," smiled the nurse.

- "H-H-Hi," stuttered the brunette.

- "Take your time."

Jane nodded. She took deep breathes and slowly took off her coat, helped by Max. She began to breath a bit faster, before taking off her tee-shirt, hiding her body with her arms and closing her eyes.

- "You're okay?" asked Max.

- "Yeah, let's finish this," answered Jane.

- "Open your eyes, you can't see yourself here."

Jane gulped and opened one eye, checking the room, before opening the other one and looking up. Max gently grabbed her arm and guided her to the bed. The two women explained to them the surgery, but Jane didn't listen, she preferred not knowing what they were going to do to her wound. Max was standing in front of her, her hands on her cheeks to relax her.

- "You're shaking so much," stated the redhead.

- "I know, I know, I'm trying to think to something else," answered Jane.

- "You're doing great."

Max stepped a bit closer, first to reassure Jane, but especially because she wanted to see the wound. Since she knew about this, she never had the opportunity to watch it. They were extracting the liquid inside, she didn't know if it was pus or not, it looked like chestnut cream.

- "The fact that you're enjoying it is making it worse," told Jane.

- "Sorry, but Jane, you have a portal in your back! You could be in a sci-fi movie!" said with enthusiasm the other girl. "Sorry, you know how I am, I don't want to stress you more than you are."

- "It's okay, don't worry. Just...enjoy, even if it's weird."

- "Yeah, I'm weird."

Jane had a small chuckle, making smile Max. The redhead missed so much this smile, those chuckles, and this tenderness between them. Even if Jane was still uncomfortable with some physical contacts, at least, Max could finally comfort her by holding her hands or caressing her cheeks. But Max noticed that Jane was getting paler and paler.

- "You're okay?"

- "I'm not sure...Talk to me about something else, how is it at your new work?" answered quickly Jane.

- "Well, (sits in front of her) it's not that bad. The others are not as awful as the ones before, and the chef is amazing, I can't wait to learn more things from him!" told excitedly Max.

- "Yeah? At least they're not as disgusting as the assholes!"

- "No, don't worry, they're not mocking me, they even respect me sometimes!"

- "Sometimes, wow!" lightly mocked Jane.

- "It's better than nothing."

- "I guess. I can't wait for you to have your own restaurant, you deserve it."

- "I'm still young, I've times. I still need to learn things!"

- "You're the best, it's the others who need to learn from you!"

- "That's totally true," joked the redhead with a serious tone.

Jane had a weak smile, but for Max it was everything. She was so proud of her, after all those weeks working on her physical and mental health, it was the proof that it wasn't for nothing, it wasn't a waste of time. She hoped it wouldn't get down again, she didn't know if she could survive it.

- "And it's done," said the nurse, placing the bandage.

- "Already?" frowned Jane.

- "You wanna stay here one more hour?" joked Max.

- "No! Oh, hell no! No, no, no, no, no! Let's go!"

Jane quickly stood and put her tee-shirt and her coat faster than before. Max chuckled, thanked the two women who gave her advice, and followed her girlfriend.

- "See, I told you you could do it," smiled Max.

- "Yeah," sighed Jane, relieved. "It was still horrible!"

- "But you still made it, it's the only thing which matter."

- "Yeah, it will help me to draw a line under it, right?"

- "Of course, I've no doubt on it."

Max took her girlfriend's hand before placing a small kiss on it. The two girls went back to their apartment for new "sessions". The psychologists told her that she should watch herself in the mirror, at least once a day, without having a panic attack, to get used to it again and to love it again. She was in a good day today, so it went pretty well. She struggled to contain her panic attack, but she made it, and she was proud of it. And Max spent the entire day with her, she couldn't be happier.

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