Chapter 52 : Cremation (official ending)

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Max learned what happened only the day after. Daniel followed her the entire day, waiting for the right moment to shoot. He claimed that his brother committed suicide four years ago because of her, and since this day, his goal was to take his revenge, no matter what. His brother was none other than Alban. She couldn't believe it; it was like if this family was born to ruin people's lives. At least, he was arrested this time, he couldn't hurt anyone anymore. Even if she would have preferred him to suffer more, like he deserved.

Everyone was here: Mike, Will, James, Joyce, Dustin, Suzie, Lucas, Gabrielle, Moussa, Beverly, Troy, Juan, Abigail, and more. The police station insisted to make an official ceremony for Jane. Moussa, Lucas, Troy, Dustin, Will, and Mike decided to hold the coffin while her ex-colleagues of the police station were forming a guard of honor, wearing their uniforms, and doing the military salute before shooting at the sky, like a last goodbye. They placed the coffin in the crematorium, where only the close family could stay. Max was there with Jane's cousins, Moussa, and the others. No other members of her family travelled for the ceremony, and Max was glad they didn't; she wouldn't have let them stay anyway.

The group stayed silent while the cremation; all lost in their thoughts, thinking of all the memories they had with Jane: the first day they met her, when they learned she was lesbian, or even when they learned for Max and her. It was so unexpected. All of this was over now.

Abigail was certainly the one who cried the most, by guilt or by pain, Max would never know.

Max kept the urn with her, not knowing if she should throw the ashes or keep them. For now, she wanted to keep them. She didn't organize a meal after, just wanting to end this rapidly. She hugged all of them but didn't cry. She was certainly empty now; she kept crying again and again for days.

She arrived at the apartment. She never realized how wide it was, and calm. Too calm. She closed the door and saw the pictures on the wall on her left; she had a weak and nostalgic smile when she saw the last one they put, when they went in California.

She began to feel tears coming so she kept walking, holding tight the urn. But she saw the couch and remembered the moment when Jane told her she was her favorite pillow to sleep with; she blushed so much that she thought she would be red her entire life.

She kept walking and saw her kitchen, with the small hope to see Jane waiting for her at their table. But no one was there.

She slowly opened her corridor door and kept walking, not looking at the bathrooms on her left. She arrived at the end of the corridor, between their two doors. She didn't open their bedroom, not ready. Instead, she opened Jane's bedroom-study and felt her heart stopping and struggled to hold her tears. It was still smelling like her. She entered, looking around. She saw her headphones with her Walkman on the desk and decided to take it. The first day she met her, she was listening to music on the benches before basketball. She sat under the desk, her knees against her chest, the urn in her arms, and put the headphones on her ears before turning on the machine. It was Sex Pistols, Jane's favorite band. Max couldn't hold it anymore; she began to sob, hiding her face in her knees, hoping it was just a dream.

The redhead had a start. It was dark outside. She didn't realize she fell asleep while listening to Jane's music. She wiped her wet eyes and blew her nose before getting out of the desk. She placed again the Walkman on the desk before hearing meowing. She turned her head and saw Cat on the bed, laid down on Jane's pillow, next to her leather jacket, calling for his mother.

- "Oh, Cat, you miss her too..."

Max sat next to him and petted him before grabbing the leather jacket. She plunged her face in it and took a deep breath to smell Jane one last time, again and again, before crying in it. She wanted to hold her so much, but she couldn't. She wanted to hear her laugh, but she wouldn't. She wanted to hold her hand, but it was impossible now. She would give everything to have the traumatized Jane with her, just to not be alone. She spent months to be her ghost, but she never thought it would be Jane, the real ghost.

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A/N: Hi! Well, sorry for the sad ending, I cried when I thought of it and when I wrote it. Don't be mad at me for this, it broke my heart too, and I had this ending before I knew what I was going to write.

BUT as you all seem sad (especially me), I wrote an alternate ending which is the next chapter that I'll post a few minutes after this one ;)

Don't hesitate to tell me what you think about this :)

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