What He Never Said ✔️

chapter fourteen • second chances

"Without you, the man that I want to be doesn't exist."
- Sam Witwer

Standing on the back porch, I watch as Evangeline prances through the yard. She's been with my family for almost two months now. It's hard to remember life before her. Despite the tragedy that brought her here, I'm grateful that she's with us. She's a little ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark world.

My older sister materializes beside me. "She's come so far," she says, gazing at Evangeline.

"She really has," I agree.

"And she looks so much like Raelyn," she adds. "It's a little eerie."

"Nah, Raelyn had red hair. Vange's is brown," I reply, eager to change the subject. I don't like talking about Rae. Every time I'm reminded of her, my stomach starts to hurt.

"It's in the eyes," Gemma tells me, shaking her head, "and not just the color. The way they twinkle when she's happy, the way they squint when she's upset or confused, the way they look at you so hard it's like she's staring into your soul... that's all Raelyn."

"Maybe. I don't know. You knew Raelyn better than I did." I take a seat on the steps. I'm too nauseous to stand.

She sits down beside me, a far-removed look in her brown eyes. "A lot of people think I knew Raelyn, but I don't think I did at all."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Just, you know, the fact that she committed suicide," she says after a lengthy pause. "I didn't see it coming, and I feel as if I should have. It's hard not to blame myself for what happened."

A poorly-timed chuckle escapes my lips. "Who are you, and what have you done with my sister?"

"Huh?"

"You went from calling Raelyn selfish to literally blaming yourself for her death. That's a pretty big change of heart," I remark.

She shrugs her shoulders. "Levi and I had a talk. I'm trying to be more open-minded and less judgmental."

"Probably not a bad idea."

"He's been through a lot. This whole situation has been one big trigger for him."

"Did you just use 'trigger' unironically?" I question my sister, shocked by her choice of words.

Her lips pull into a proud grin. "Yeah, I guess I did."

The crunch of tires on gravel sounds from the front of the house. Evangeline runs toward us, her cheeks flushed from the frigid air.

"What's up, kiddo?" I ask the six year-old

"Someone's here," she observes, looking past me.

"Benson told Mom and Dad he was gonna stop by. He said he had a surprise for all of us," Gemma says.

Immediately, I place my hands on Evangeline's shoulders and guide her up the steps. I don't want my older brother anywhere near her. "We should get you inside, Vange. Don't want you to get hypothermia."

"But I'm not even cold," she objects.

"Your rosy cheeks say otherwise."

Evangeline turns to Gemma, but I lead her toward the house before she can protest further.

Genetically, I have no idea what Benson is to Evangeline. It's always been assumed that Marco Diaz, Rae's high school boyfriend, got her pregnant and then bailed.

I'm the only person who has a reason to assume otherwise.

Either way, though, I don't want Benson getting too close to her. He's dangerous. I need to protect her, like I should have protected Rae.