What He Never Said ✔️

chapter sixteen • their first time

"Love isn't about playing it safe. It's about risks. Unless you're willing to put yourself out there, you'll never know."
- Michael Rosenbaum

I feel Evangeline's eyes on me as I tiptoe into the house. With her teddy bear under her arm, she stares me down, a displeased expression on her tiny face.

"Bowie." Her voice is stern, her arms crossed. "It's after midnight. Where have you been?"

"You're literally six," I toss back, fetching a bottle of water from the fridge. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

She shakes her head. "I was worried about you."

I can tell she means it. Honestly, it's sort of flattering to have someone be so concerned about my whereabouts. Most of my life, Mom and Dad were too focused on Golden Boy Benson to wonder what I was up to.

"Vange, I'm fine," I assure her. "I was on a date. Remember that girl I told you about a few weeks ago?"

"Right, the one with the alien name," she recalls. "Did you kiss her yet?"

"Maybe."

"So... yes?"

I've kissed every part of her, I want to say, but Vange is in the first grade. I can't share the intimate details of my love life with her, even if, as odd as it sounds, she's the person in this house I feel closest to.

"When can I meet her?" she adds.

"Soon," I promise. Eventually, I want Zayna to meet my family, and that includes Evangeline.

"Okay." All signs of worry vanish from her face. Hugging her bear, she lets out a yawn and ambles up the stairs.

I chuckle to myself. She's a quirky little kid. I think Zayna will like her.

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"What's your... most embarrassing childhood memory?" Zayna asks, grabbing a fistful of popcorn. She's snuggled into my side as we watch a movie.

I couldn't tell you what film we're watching. I don't think my eyes have left her since I arrived thirty minutes ago.

"Uh, I don't know," I reply. "I was a pretty quiet kid. I never did anything too 'embarrassing,' but I'll ask my parents to see if they remember anything that I don't."

"When I was fourteen, I robbed a convenience store," she muses. "I stuck my hand in my pocket and pretended to have a gun and everything. Walked away with sixty-three dollars."

"That's not embarrassing. In a weird way, that's sort of badass."

"The embarrassing part is when I got home. My brother was furious. He made me write a fucking apology letter and return the money. The owner was so amused that he didn't even call the police."

"Oh, Shamus," I mumble. Based on the brief interactions I've had with him, I'm not surprised at all.

She rolls her golden eyes. "Yeah, he was the strict dad I never wanted."

"I stole my dad's car once," I reminisce. "Don't remember why. He wasn't thrilled about it, though."

"Ooh, I kind of like the idea of Grand Theft Auto Bowie," she says, her eyes dancing with mischief.

I feel my pants tighten. "I took my sister's car once, too, except she never found out about that."

Zayna places her hand on my thigh. "What other bad things have you done?"

"I cheated on a spelling test in the fifth grade."

"Tell me more."

"I literally never eat my vegetables."

"We should probably, like, take our clothes off now," Zayna murmurs, bringing her lips to my neck.

I don't argue. I begin undoing the buttons of my shirt while she fiddles with my belt buckle. Her lips venture from my neck to my earlobe, which she gently bites down on.

"Fuck, that feels good," I moan.

"I bet it does." She straddles me, then slides my shirt off my shoulders. She caresses my bare chest and smiles. "You know, for a guy who doesn't eat his vegetables, you're in pretty good shape."

"Come here." I pull her closer and kiss her hard.

I untie the drawstring of her pants and slip my hand inside. To my surprise—but mostly satisfaction—she isn't wearing underwear. Slowly, I begin to stroke her. She moves her hips back and forth, beckoning for me to go faster.

Fuck, I want her so badly. My dick is rock-hard and ready to fuck her.

She climbs off my lap, yanks off my jeans, and then takes my c*ck in her hand. She moves her fingers up and down the shaft, using her thumb to stroke the head.

"I know you like to go over that little checklist of yours every time," Zayna says, jerking me quicker, "but I promise you that I'm fine. Will you please just fuck me already?"

Zayna and I haven't had sex yet. The closest we came was the night she kicked me out of her apartment.

"I want to," I tell her. "I want you."

"And I want you, Bowie." She brings her face closer to mine. "But I need your permission, too. Consent is a two-way street, right?"

"You have it. You can have all of me," I reply, and I mean it.

She shimmies out of her pants and situates herself on my lap. Using the back of the couch for leverage, she mounts my c*ck and begins to ride me.

I've had sex with several other women, but it's never felt like this before. Every nerve in my body is on fire, made alive by the touch of her skin. Nothing compares to this. Nothing compares to her.

She rides me faster. I thrust my hips upwards, fucking her as hard as our bodies will allow. She lets out a yelp, and I stop, thinking I've hurt her. However, she digs her fingers into my shoulder, demanding that I keep going.

"Bowie, I'm so close!" she cries out.

She buries her face in the crook of my neck. I feel her hot breath on my skin as I pound into her, moving more vigorously with every jerk of my hips. I'm close, too, but I won't finish until she does.

"Oh, my god!" she exclaims. Her body tightens around me as a wave of pleasure washes over her.

I feel my own climax building. With one final thrust, I cum inside of her.

Both breathing heavily, we lie down on the sofa. She rests her head on my chest and closes her honey-colored eyes. I kiss her forehead and stroke her wild, post-sex hair.

"That was... intense," she says.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

"I'm great. Perfect, actually." She meets my gaze and brings her lips to mine in a tender kiss. "Not to get too sappy, but I've never done this before."

I raise my eyebrows. "You've never what before?"

"You know, the whole cuddling-after-sex thing. Usually, I just have them leave once the fun's over."

"Should I go?"

"You better not." She clings to me tighter, kissing the skin along my collarbone.

"Relax, I'm not going anywhere," I assure her.

Honestly, where would I go? I'm curled up on the couch with a girl I'm crazy about. I'm happy. There's no place I'd rather be.

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! As today is February 14th, I wanted to show some insight on the more... intimate details of Bowie and Zayna's relationship. Sex (and enjoying sex) is nothing to be ashamed of, and I wish more people realized that. Anyway, I hope everyone has a good love day. To my readers, I love and appreciate all of you!