What He Never Said ✔️

chapter thirty • secrets revealed

"I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head."
- Blue October

Eerie silence fills the room, only to be broken by the sound of my sister retching.

So that was it. That was the last video. Raelyn provided a what, but not a who. She didn't say his name. Fuck, I really needed her to say his name. Gemma needs to know that it was our older brother, Golden Boy Benson, who drove her to this point.

But based on Gemma's reaction to Raelyn's confession, I don't think she can handle any more truth tonight.

I have to do something. Benson's secret is a bomb inside of me that's waiting to detonate. My parents adore him. Alyx is about to have a child with him. It's not right. People need to know what really happened—and the part he played in Raelyn's suicide.

My whole body is shaking as I rise to my feet. I feel jittery, like I drank too much coffee on an empty stomach. I turn to my sister, who is wiping vomit off her lip, and then to Griffin. "Can one of you give me a ride?" I ask.

"I... I don't think I can drive right now," Gemma answers.

"I will," Griffin offers.

"Great. Let's go," I say, reaching for the flash drive.

"Where the hell do you have to be right now?" my sister demands, her brown eyes fixed in a contemptuous glare. Shit, she's mad. "What is so important that you can't wait for me to pull myself together and bring you home?"

"I need to talk to Mom and Dad," I reply, clutching the flash drive in my hand. I need to show the videos to them, and I need to do it alone. I was wrong when I thought that Gemma could help me, that she could handle all of this. Obviously, this is too painful for her.

"Why, Bowie?" she inquires. "So you can break their hearts by telling them that their fourth child was raped?"

I don't answer. When she puts it that way, it seems like the worst idea I've ever had.

"Look, if he needs a ride, I don't mind. I'm good to drive, I promise," Griffin assures her.

"He doesn't need a ride. He's just trying to cause trouble. No one's going anywhere. Not yet," she says with an adamant shake of her head.

"Look, I don't want to hurt Mom and Dad," I tell her. "Honest to god, that's the last thing I want, but they need to know the truth."

"They loved Raelyn so much," she whispers. "She was literally like a daughter to them."

"Exactly!" I shout. "They deserve the truth. They deserve to know who did this to her."

More importantly, Benson does not deserve their respect and admiration. He is unworthy of all of it.

"Dude, we don't even know that," Griffin pipes in, dabbing Gemma's puke stain with a paper towel. "Raelyn gave a very detailed description of what, but not who."

"I know who." The words leave my mouth like a ball from a cannon—quickly and without warning. I expect just as explosive of a reaction, but Gemma shoots me a look of disbelief.

"How can that possibly be true?" she asks in a scornful tone. "Were you there when it happened?"

This is my chance. She's asking a direct, yes-or-no question. She's being facetious, of course, but I can't lie. Not this time.

I've avoided the truth for long enough.

With a slow nod of my head, I mutter the words, "Actually, yeah."