Morby One-Shots

The Matchmaker

Quick AU details:
-They're 18 and 19
-They work at the park, and have been since they were 17

Ahh, yes. It was that time of year again - Rigby's birthday. His 19th, to be exact. Mordecai had made a promise earlier that month. After Rigby's unceremonious coming out (Which consisted of hanging up a giant LGBT flag up in their room), Mordo had promised to help him find someone to go on a date with.

Mordecai didn't expect to be spending his Saturday night in a gay nightclub when he had promised that, but it was too late now; they were already standing at the door. There was a short line of people of all different races, ethnicities, and species, all with one thing in common: homosexuality.

Truly beautiful Mordecai thought semi sarcastically while trying not to make eye contact with anyone. When they reached the front of said line, the bouncer took a glance at Mordecai and waved him in, but stopped his partner in crime in his tracks.

"You do know you have to be 18 or over to enter this club, right kid?" The bouncer said, curling his pale lips into an almost amused grin.

"Hey, I'm older than him, and you didn't ask for his ID!" Rigby gestured towards his best friend, casting an accusatory glance at the bouncer. Upon hearing the raccoons voice, the bouncer realised his mistake and quickly ushered him in to avoid making a fuss.

The agitated raccoon stomped his way through a crowd of people over to the dance floor before almost immediately remembering that he had no idea how to talk to guys in a way that would get him laid. He had tried practicing with Mordecai on multiple occasions, but the straighter of the two would burst out laughing at the mention of 'This Dick' every single time, without exception. And so he found himself standing frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do. Here was a room full of guys who liked guys - something that he had dreamed of many times - and he was just standing there like a fucking idiot.

Anxiety began to creep up on him like a crocodile to a zebra trying to enjoy a nice drink from the watering hole. Were people looking at him? Did they notice how he was just standing there like a complete moron? Before Rigby's thoughts could consume him a familiar voice called his his name. He turned to see the only familiar person in the club pushing through a crowd of people who were too busy grinding on each other to move out if the way, looking mortified. When said person reached his best friend, he spoke:

"What are you just standing there for? Go do your thing!" Mordecai shouted over the obnoxiously loud music being played by the DJ. "Don't tell me we came all the way out here just for you to pansy out?" He said, getting closer to the mammal's ear so he could be heard more easily.

"I'm sorry its just... It's way more intimidating than when it's all in my head!" Rigby shouted back. It was then that he noticed a man at the bar staring at him with a smile on his face. Rigby immediately froze up again. Did he just catch someone's eye? "Dude, that guy with red hair at the bar just smiled at me!" Rigby shouted. Mordecai smirked before responding.

"Go talk to him then! That's why we came here isn't it?" Mordecai said. Rigby gulped and started making his way over to the man, suddenly acutely aware of the lack of a friend at his side. Once again he felt like everyone in the room was looking at him. But wasn't it normal to be nervous? Surely everyone would understand, right? He quickly shook his anxiety off and soldiered on towards the man. He noticed the man's eyes following him as he tried to make his posture a little less relaxed than normal, puffing his chest out. Finally, after what felt like a walk from China to Europe, Rigby found himself within talking distance of the man. The red streaks in his black hair seemed much brighter up close, almost like it was on fire.

"Hi." Rigby said. Hi? Is that really the best you can do Rigby?

The man seemed to laugh through his nose before responding.