Sink or Swim

10

Chapter Song: You Should Be Sad- Halsey

"Okay everyone, I know that this isn't really apart of our curriculum. However, as a teacher, it is my job to set you up for success. This is why I want you to get with your partners, pick five of these catalogs to browse through, and start picking choices of colleges to apply for. I want a list of your top five choices from each of you today. By next Monday, you have to have at least two confirmation emails submitted to me saying that you applied to two colleges. I will hand you the codes for the fee waivers at the end of class. What questions do you have?"

Nobody raised their hands. We didn't have to she always made her assignments very clear. One of my favorite things about her was that she helped us with actual life things. We still did English assignments and everything, but no other teachers have helped us with applying for colleges. She was making us do it.

She also explained that whether or not we actually go to college was up to us, as there are many different routes we can take after high school. She just said to apply ourselves to whatever we set our minds to. For those who weren't planning on college, she explained this is a good exercise for job applications or anything else they may choose to do.

"Where have you been looking?" I asked Hayden between flipping pages of the University of Arizona magazine. Arizona seemed interesting. There were cacti there, but it looked really hot. I hated the heat.

"I don't know. I think I want to stay in-state. Being in the same place for a while sounds like a good thing."

I kept forgetting that he moved around a lot. It was weird thinking I'd been in Virginia my whole life. I thought a change of scenery update be good, whereas he wanted to stay. Perspective was an interesting thing indeed.

"Hey, where are you guys applying to?" Riley whispered dragging her chair across the room with a loud groan. Liam followed but he picked up his chair making no noise. A gentleman.

"Honestly I have no idea," I shrugged. I wanted to take a pause on life and maybe sleep for a few months. Years maybe.

College seemed like a scary thought. I mean it was school, that would be fine I was ready for that. I also didn't mind the fact I would be on my own. As much as I loved the idea of Riley and I going to the same college and living together we accepted that it probably wasn't going to happen. We were okay with it. What I wasn't okay with was figuring out what I was doing with my life. Who was supposed to know that answer at 18?

Cal had it easy he wanted to be an architect. He always talked about building things to last. He always lit up when he talked about things like that or the structure of a building. Don't get him started on pillars. He was a nerd. 

Last year we went to a museum and instead of going into the fossil exhibit he wanted to look at the pillars instead. We sat for twenty minutes inspecting them. He even tried asking the museum employees about them and they had no clue. 

Riley wanted to pursue ballet and eventually open up her own studio. Ty had talked about the Army but he was still undecided about college or the Army yet. He had time to figure it out though. Mason and Liam didn't have a clue either which made me feel a little better about myself. I hadn't asked Hayden yet, but I will.

"Are you still going to apply to Berkeley?" Liam asked me.

After our birth mom coming to my swim meet last year with the Berkeley coach I decided I did not want to go there. I didn't even want to swim for college after that. It was part of the reason I stopped swimming. Not the entire reason, but it gave me the push I needed.

"No definitely not. That ship has long sailed," I sighed sinking back into my chair.

"Have you tried talking to her since then? Has she reached out or tried to reach out?" He led again. I wish he wouldn't continue pressing the issue. I get why he did though. I think he was a little hurt she didn't talk to him.