As If It's Our Last (JenLisa)

6 장

CHAPTER SIX

"ANSWER me Lisa... how long have you been in love with me?"

Those words replayed in Lisa's head.

She couldn't bear it – the look on her bestfriend's face, the silence that engulfed the area, the confrontation – her diary was already in Jennie's hand, what more does she have to say? What truth does she have to hear? It was all there and she couldn't lie, she's a terrible liar, even if she tried to, Jennie would still know.

So she did what she was best at – hiding, before Jennie could stop her, she ran and locked herself in her hotel room, not minding how the brunette was calling for her name, how she was almost begging for her to open the door just so they could talk, she hid inside her room and when she was sure Jennie was no longer outside, she packed her stuffs, sent a message to Jennie telling her that she could no longer attend her wedding and just have Rosé or Jisoo replace her. She went back to her house where she could hide some more.

She knew it was a coward thing to do but what would she tell her?

Jennie I've been in love with you for years, please don't marry him?

Please let me be him. I promise I can love you more?

That would sound pathetic and desperate, she would accept people thinking she's pathetic, but she's not that desperate to ruin what Jennie is supposed to have – a happy future with someone she loves – clearly it's not her, and the last thing she wants is to mess with her bestfriend's head, force her to have second thoughts just because the brunette found out that she loves her... been in love with her all along.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the doorbell ringing, who wouldn't be when it's 2 in the morning?

She got up from her bed and lazily went out of her room to go downstairs, as she was on her way she noticed that the person who rang the doorbell may have grown impatient because she started hearing banging sounds on the door.

A surge of annoyance filled her head because of her lack of sleep, and the noise of the person who was on the other side was not helping.

Finally, she opened the door and was about to shout at the person if it wasn't the one who makes her heart flutter and beat faster. She would be mad if it wasn't her, if it wasn't her Jennie.

Everything she felt a while ago —the annoyance and weariness with her lack of sleep — disappeared just like that.

"Jennie..."

-

This is not happening, Lisa thought.

She didn't know how they ended up on the couch with Jennie on top of her still kissing her, she's drowning but this time it wasn't because of the pain, it was because this is what she had in her dreams, in her imagination for years and now it's finally happening.

Jennie is kissing her!

But the rational part of her decided to kick in and she pushed Jennie away from her.

Lisa sat on the couch and placed her palms on her face.

What had she done? What did they do? Jennie just cheated on Kai, her bestfriend who's wedding is tomorrow.

"Lisa..."

"This is wrong," she stood up and bit her lips. "Jennie, you should just leave, we can just pretend this never happened."

"I'm not leaving."

"Why?" she frowned. "Look, I understand that your emotions are high, I get that, I must've caused some confusion because of the things you found out and believe me when I say that I never meant for this to happen, I didn't want to mess with your head or your wedding, especially not on the night before that day."

"I know... you would have never told me, if I haven't found your diary and read what was in it I would never know how much I was hurting you, I'm sorry Lisa," Jennie looked at her, eyes welled with tears. "Lisa, I love you."

Lisa kneeled in front of Jennie and wiped her tears away, her other hand held Jennie's left hand and she stared at her engagement ring.

"I know," she said in a low voice. "But not as much as you love him."

"Lisa–" she shushed her.

"I understand and I'm trying to accept that you don't love me like that, 'cause if you do then you wouldn't be wearing someone else's ring," she stared at Jennie's face like it would be the last time she'll be able to see and hold her that way. "I love you and I always will, you don't have to feel sorry for me just because you think you didn't return the kind of love I have for you, it's not your fault that I fell in love with you because you are the most amazing person I have ever met and I doubt that I'll ever meet someone as gorgeous, smart, caring and loving as you, you have loved me and have shown it to me in ways you can and that is more than enough, there were just days I wished we could be something more but it was just me Jennie."

She caressed her face. "I know you're worried about me but I just want you to know that you don't have to throw everything away for me, I am not asking you to do that, when I said that all I want is for you to be happy, I mean it, even if it's not with me, so please do just that, have your happy ending with him, you deserve that, you don't have to think about me or what I would feel, I'd be happy for you because I love you that much."

Jennie pulled her into a hug and cried on her shoulder.

"Please be there," she heard her say in between sobs. "I need you to be there."

"Jennie, I don't–"

"Please," she felt her tighten her hug, it felt like she didn't want to let go of her. "Please Lisa, I promise this will be the last time I'm ever going to ask anything from you, please be there, can you do that for me?"

She nodded and silently cried on Jennie's shoulder.

A promise she has to fulfill for the last time.

-

A/N: When I said that I was going to post the whole story once I've made up my mind, I meant that, I was having second thoughts and I really wanted to delete this one because I wasn't satisfied with how I wrote this, I wanted the story to be super angsty and I feel like I could've done more, inflicted more pain, wrote more depressing thoughts or something like that LOL haha!

Sorry if it took so long for me to publish this one. But don't worry because I'll post the remaining chapters of this story after this update... like what I promised TheMissusM, but I'm still not sure hahaha. Kidding.

JV