Whatever Happens |Kyman • Stenny • Creek|

Chapter 35: Lost Hope

"They're gonna clean up your looks; with all the lies and the books; to make a citizen out of you; because they sleep with a gun; and keep an eye on you, son; so they can watch all the things you do."

~Kyle's POV~

After what had happened this morning, my whole day was depressing. It's so amazing how Sam was able to convince everyone, even Cartman, that I lied about everything. People started talking about me behind my back, my friends stopped talking to me, and I'm depressed as hell.

There's no evidence to prove Sam's accusations wrong since my arm and shoulder are healed up, and the bruises are gone.

Everyone in my friend circle wants nothing to do with me now. Token, Tweek, Craig, Kenny, Cartman, Stan, and Clyde all came up to me today and said I was excluded from their group. Butters didn't say anything to me, but that's only because we didn't cross paths today. We have a completely different schedule. Well, except for gym and lunch. I skipped both of those periods today and cried my eyes out in the bathroom on the opposite side of the school.

As I walked home, I removed my hat so my hood would fit over my head. I decided to see if Butters was willing to hang out with me since he's the only one around who isn't an inconsiderate, close-minded asshole.

I sighed and knocked on his front door. As I waited for someone to open it, I looked around the front side of his house. His parents added more decorations to it for Halloween, which was pretty cool. Halloween's going to come around in the next few weeks. I guess it's going to be a lonely one this year since my friends hate me.

The door swung open and Butters smiled when he saw me. "Kyle! What's up?" He said happily. I smiled at his excitement and perked up. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out. No one else will talk to me after what happened today." I asked.

"Yeah I know. But I would never turn down hanging out with you. Come in!" He said as he stepped aside to make room for me to come in. I did that and set my backpack down on the floor.

"So what'd you want to do today?" He asked me. He was still wearing his black jacket and gray skinny jeans. I presumed that this is what he wore all day since I didn't really see him.

"I was thinking about going to the hot topic at the mall. I feel like changing up my style." I told him. Butters' smile faded when I brought up hot topic. "Y-You're not trying to be one of those Vamp kids, are you?" He questioned as he stepped closer. I shook my head. "No, I'm not going to buy those fake vampire teeth or anything. Just some...darker clothes. I want to try to disguise myself from the world for a little bit. The fact of having no friends doesn't go well with these bright colors I have on." I explained.

Butters nodded and patted me on the back. "Yeah, I know how you feel. But I bought all of my stuff at Spencer's. Maybe we can find you similar clothes there! Hot Topic kind of traumatized me during the whole vampire incident." Butters said. I nodded and opened the front door again. "Alright, let's go then." I said. Butters walked to the front door as he grabbed a set of keys. "We'll take my mom's car. She carpooled to work with dad today and they won't be home for another few hours. We should have plenty of time to go shopping." He explained.

We got into his mom's car and began our trip to the mall. I doubt any of our friends will be there today. Apparently, they made plans to hang out at Stan's house to watch the new episode of the Terrance and Phillip show. I stopped caring for that show once we got into high school.

I looked at Butters as he drove. After what had happened today, I now know how Butters felt when we excluded him back then. This shit really does hurt.

"I understand how it feels now, Butters." I randomly told him. He looked at me as he stopped at the stop sign. He seemed to know what I was talking about. "Yeah, it doesn't feel too good, does it?" He wondered. "It feels like someone is stabbing you in the chest over and over again. I still feel it sometimes when I'm not included in a friend gathering. I don't get mad over it, but it triggers all of my insecurities and makes it all hurt at once."

I started feeling guilty again, but I was also a bit relieved. I guess putting Butters through that hell helped him understand the feeling. If we hadn't done that, he'd be over at Stan'd house right now and I'd be stuck in the dark by myself.

"Why didn't you go over to Stan's house today?" I asked him. Butters shrugged and continued driving to the mall. "After what they did to you today, I decided against hanging out with them. I was actually going to go to your house and see if you wanted to hang out, but you already beat me to it. I figured you could use a friend." He answered. I smiled and looked out the windshield as we pulled into the parking lot.

Butters and I got out of the car and made our way to Spencer's. He told me it was on the first floor, which was a relief. I could just go in, grab some stuff, and then leave. I had a lot of money saved up from my allowances in the past and some part-time jobs I've had. I've been working over the summers at Staenberg-Loup Jewish Community Center in Denver as a student assistant. I mainly did anything and everything people asked me to do. It became a bit of an issue to get to and from there since Denver is a bit of a drive, but the money I made was enough to take the public bus to and from there.

Once we got into Spencer's, my eyes gazed around the entire store. I've never seen so much going on at once. A stack of t-shirts to my right, a whole bunch of prank gags and Halloween costumes to my left, and a few workers in front of me. "Welcome to Spencer's! Need any help finding anything today?" One of the workers asked us.

"No, we're just browsing for now." Butters answered.

"Alright, well our t-shirts are buy one get one half off, and our jewelry is buy two get one free." She said back. We nodded and continued looking around. Butters found himself at where the skinny jeans were. I followed him over there and looked at the options. "They have some in black, gray, dark green, gray and black stripes, and red." He told me. I looked around the area for my size. Once I found some, I pulled them off the shelf and held them under my arms. "You sure they're going to fit? You could probably try them on here." Butters asked. I shook my head. "No I'm good. I'm sure they'll fit." I said back.

Butters led me around the store to find some shirts. He even showed me some of the jackets they had, which made me consider them. If I bought one, I wouldn't have to wear my orange jacket again. At least until this phase was over and done with.

It's been a few hours since we got here and Butters and I spent a little over two-hundred dollars on my new wardrobe. He bought a few things for himself with his own money too. I walked out with like six pairs of skinny jeans, a jacket, a black beanie, and four different shirts. I already wore shoes that matched this new wardrobe, so that wasn't a problem.

We both hung out for a few hours after we came back to Butters' house. We played video games, tried on our new clothes, and even styled our hair. Butters never does anything with his hair since it's naturally straight, but he decided to use his mom's straightening iron to rid my hair of all the crazy curls. I couldn't believe how straight it looked. I should probably start using my mom's iron too instead of using the conditioner treatments. Well, I think I should continue doing that because otherwise my hair will eventually turn back into that unmanageable afro I can't stand.

I'll just combine the two I guess, but this looks like the beginning of a new me. A new, emo-er, sadder me.

"Teenagers scare; the livin' shit out of me; they could care less as long as someone'll bleed; so darken your clothes; or strike a violent pose; maybe they'll leave you alone; but not me."

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