Whatever Happens |Kyman • Stenny • Creek|

Chapter 48: Old Temptations

"She's in a long black coat tonight; waiting for me in the downpour outside; she's singing, baby, come home, in a melody of tears; while the rhythm of the rain keeps time."

~Cartman's POV~

School didn't go too good for me today. Ever since Kyle was locked away in the mental hospital in Denver, the days seemed to have gone by even slower than usual. All I'd do is sit in class and write notes. I'd normally just sit there and not even bother to pay attention, but I want Kyle to come back and be able to catch up on what he's missed. Until he comes back to school, I decided to write down the notes the teachers had on the board and the projector.

The notes I took were written pretty neatly so Kyle would be able to read them. I figured helping him catch up on schoolwork was the least I could do to make up for being a shit friend. I don't know why I cared so much, but it is what it is.

As I headed toward my car, Heidi was calling my name. She's been trying to hook up with me ever since Kyle ran away and ended up in the hospital. I threw my hood on over my head and walked faster to my car. "Eric, wait up!" She called.

I sighed in frustration and stopped walking. "What, Heidi?" I asked meanly. She walked around me so she could try to catch my eyes. "How's Kyle doing?" She wondered. I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "As if you care. I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work. I'm pretty sure everyone knows that I'm gay."

All Heidi could do was chuckle. "Gay? You didn't seem gay during our intimate relations, Eric. In fact, you seemed straight. Straighter than an erect dick."

"Um, Heidi? Some dicks are curvy when they're erect, mine being one of them." I corrected. Heidi stomped her foot and exhaled painfully. "Whatever. The way we were with each other voids the idea of you being gay. You always used to belittle those who were gay."

"Maybe because I was gay myself? People who are homophobic turn out to be gay themselves."

"Not always, Eric. Some people just don't agree with the lifestyle due to religious reasons."

I laughed my ass off at her statement. "Religious reasons? Don't try to throw fucking religion into this conversation, Heidi. Regardless of one's religion, people should be accepting of homosexuality. It's literally all over the place now, and there's nothing we can do to stop it."

"I do accept them, but I can't accept the idea of you being gay. Like, there's absolutely no way you're actually gay, and I know a way to prove it."

"Alright Heidi. Enlighten me. How do you want me to prove that I'm a hetero?" I questioned with my arms crossed. "Not saying that I am, but how should we go about this?"

Heidi looked down at the ground for a minute. I know that she knows what she wants, but is too scared to say it. Because of the awkward silence, I might even know what she wants.

"Have sex with me again. Just...one more time." She requested. I frowned at her request and jerked away from her in a grossed-out way. She wants me to have sex with her? I'd rather fucking shoot myself!

"Not even if my life depended on it!" I yelled.

"Why the hell not? I just want to know for sure if you're really gay, Eric!" Heidi yelled back.

"I am gay, and I don't need to fucking prove it to you! Besides, I love Kyle. I don't care where the fuck he is. I'll love him and stay loyal to him even if he's on a different planet!"

Heidi stomped her foot again. "If you love him, then why don't you prove it!?"

"How is fucking you going to prove that!?" I asked meanly. Anger started building up from my toes to my head and beyond. Everything about me always has to be proven to her because she just can't accept reality. If I hadn't decided to give her another chance at being my girlfriend, this wouldn't be happening right now.

"It'll help me know for sure if you're gay. I...I just can't wrap my head around it unless you prove it to me." She finally answered.

I looked away and sighed a long, frustrated sigh. She continued standing in place with her arms crossed over her chest. She really needs to learn to accept shit like this and leave the past where it belongs. I don't think she'll let up unless I prove it to her, so it may be the only way. Kyle and I aren't officially dating yet. If we were, though, I'd definitely turn this bitch down and go on with my life. The last thing Kyle needs right now is another shitty boyfriend after what that piece of shit had done to him.

"If we have sex in my car for ten minutes or something, will that be enough for you?" I asked impatiently. Heidi smiled her innocent smile and nodded. "Yes. Ten minutes is all I'll need." She assured me.

We both got into my car and I drove off to a secluded spot. I didn't care enough about Heidi to being her to my house for this, so I parked my car in an empty parking lot and did what had to be done. She started removing her clothes, making the nausea build up in my stomach.

"Tell me how much you've missed my rack, Eric." She said as she removed her bra. I closed my eyes as she did this so I didn't puke all over the place. The thought of having sex with girls has become so nauseating for me I can't even think straight.

I opened my eyes slightly and noticed her moving her chest closer to my face. "I remember how much you loved being smothered, Eric. Don't you miss this?" She asked. I held my breath for the entirety of being smothered like this.

Eventually, I gently pushed her back and looked into her eyes. "Can we just get this over with? I'm literally about to get sick, Heidi."

When she opened her mouth to speak, I felt the sudden urge to open my car door and blow chunks. As long as the half-naked Heidi was sitting on my lap like this, the vomit was never ending. "Eric, are you okay!?" She asked, shocked. I couldn't answer obviously because I kept throwing up.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Heidi's face sadden. She climbed off of my lap slowly and threw her clothes back on. "I think you've proven your point, Eric." She said sadly.

I stopped throwing up and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. She threw her bra, t-shirt, and green jacket on. When she got out of the car after grabbing her backpack, she put her jacket hood over her head. I buried my face into the steering wheel and groaned. I feel so fucking bad for her right now. Normally I wouldn't turn down sex with Heidi, but apparently I've proven to be so gay I puke at the thought of it.

I have a lot of people I need to win forgiveness from. Since Kyle is locked away in that mental hospital, I need to start with Heidi.

Or maybe not. Maybe I should turn back into the asshole I was in elementary school. Everyone expected me to be a dick to people and never expected an apology. If I become that person again, maybe I wouldn't feel so bad  anymore.

Who the hell knows what I should do? No matter what I do, I'm still going to feel bad deep down. I don't know how Kyle does it, but I can't hide my feelings like that.

"(And I remember); did you ever love her, do you know?; (and I remember); or did you never want to be alone?"

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