"What am I supposed to do oh oh
When she's so damn cold like twenty below
That girl, that girl she's such a bitch
I tell myself I can handle it
But where am I supposed to go oh oh
When she throws me out and it's twenty below
That girl that girl she'...
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An eerie silence filled the Hotchner household as the sun had yet to rise. Lilith reached over to her bedside table and checked the time on her phone. It was five in the morning which meant she had little options for things to do. It had been seven days since she had moved into the Hotchner household and things were beginning to settle down into routine. The family had integrated her as on of their own. Like an older rebellious child that needed as much attention as the baby.
Yet no matter how inclusive they had been she still felt like an outside peering in. She would meet the team at a local bar for date night, an idea proposed by none other than Haley. Hotch had protested but she had insisted. The woman believed it was important they introduce her before she started. That way things would go smoother. Hotch's argument was that drinks and first impressions usually don't end well. In the end it seemed that Hotch's authority was undermined as Haley called his team and arranged the get together.
Lilith was left on her own to get ready for the bar meet up. She knew that she wanted to make a good impression, but at the same time knew that she wanted to have her own fun toying with men. With that in mind she chose a tightly fitting pair of jeans with a flattering blouse. Then she proceeded to put on makeup.
"Lilith, you ready to go?" She could hear Haley's voice coming from the kitchen in or living room.
"Almost," Lilith shouted back as she put on the finishing touches on her makeup.
After putting on the finishing touches she grabbed her purse and a jacket before exiting her room. Hotch and Haley were waiting in the living room. Jack was with Haley's sister for the night. Lilith remained calm and composed as the trio drove towards the bar. Haley and Hotch seemed to converse the entire car ride as Lilith looked out the window the entire time.
There was a feeling of liberation as she looked towards city of lights. The world was hers for the taking. No longer was there a fence keeping her from going wherever she wanted or doing whatever she wanted. She could travel and visit places she always dreamed of. Maybe now she could find redemption. Maybe this was penance for her sins. For the sins of her past. A past that was anything but innocent. Maybe, just maybe she would be able to find redemption, but even she did not believe that it was all it was cracked up to be. Her actions had been justified in the moment. She had reason and motive. She had orders. Yet why did she feel like she didn't deserve to be welcomed? She was a sinner and a saint. Two contradictions that could not exist together. Either she was a sinner or she was a saint. And by fair neither of those two definitions seemed to fit. She just was. Aaron Hotchner's deal had seemed too good to be true and she stood by her analysis.
The car was parked and she took it as her cue to snap out of whatever trance she was in and mentally prepare herself to meet new people. She was silent as they walked in. Partly by the looks of things she knew where the team was just by the rowdy group of adults in a corner. And another part of it was due to the fact that she knew what Jason Gideon looked like. Jason Gideon was a ghost in her past. A distant memory of a past life she had before all the blood on her hands.
