Truth - Rey x Reader

Chapter VIII

Several hours later, you are up and the med team has assessed you carefully and some of your friends have come to see you and wish you a happy and warm welcome back. You appreciate it and are so happy to see everyone. They ask you a bunch of questions and you answer them the best you can, telling them what it was like to be dead and what happened to you after. It was all very confusing and you're still trying to remember bits and pieces of it but you don't really worry about that too much. All that matters is that you're back and you need to focus on recovering properly so you can get back into the fight.

As nice as everyone's greetings are, there is still one person who you are yet to talk to - Rey. After you woke, Rey hasn't spoken to you. Instead, she has distanced herself from you but kept a close eye on you and you can feel that she distrusts you and you know exactly why. You're just glad that Rey hasn't said anything. You can't have people find out what happened and you need to talk to Rey before they do or rather, IF they do. She looks at you from across the room sternly, watching you as if you're ready to pounce on someone at any moment. The thought is ridiculous but you know Rey just as well as you know yourself so she isn't taking any chances.

You can feel the dynamic of your Force connection change and it's unsettling but you understand. This isn't how you wanted Rey to find out but as Leia said to you soon after you met her - Rey was bound to find out sooner or later. You remember the conversation as if it happened yesterday.

"You have to tell her," Leia says.

"I know I do... But not yet. It's not the right time."

Leia nods then places her hand on your shoulder. "Well, make sure you tell her. The time may not be right now but Rey will make it the right time if you don't first and trust me, you do NOT want that to happen."

Part of you wishes that you headed to Leia's advice sooner but you couldn't. For the sake of your relationship and for the sake of Rey's future, you couldn't.

"Alright, alright! Let's give the woman some space to breathe!" Poe announces, happy to see you well again.

"Yes, let's give her some time alone with her Mrs!" Finn assists Poe in getting everyone out of the room, leaving you and Rey alone.

When the door shuts, silence fills the air along with tension and unease. You meet Rey's hardened gaze and you're a little intimidated by it. You haven't experienced Rey's gaze like this before and it's unnerving. You never thought you would if you're honest. You know that you've upset Rey and because of that, she is standoffish and cautious. You can't blame her but you hope that she will at least let you explain before she jumps to conclusions.

"Rey-"

"What was that?" She snaps. "What was that in your eyes?"

"Rey, before I say anything you need to calm down."

"Calm down? Are you serious? Your eyes were yellow. YELLOW. Yellow like the Sith! Don't you dare tell me to calm down!"

"Rey!" You beg. "I'm NOT a Sith!"

"Then what are you? Tell me now," she orders, tears brimming. "Have you always been this way?"

"Yes," you nod.

Rey clenches her jaw and you can feel her anger and hurt consume her and that's when you feel a shift in her nature, causing you to freeze momentarily, your heart dropping in dread.

"Are you thinking of drawing on me?" You ask painfully.

A tear rolls down Rey's cheek as you see her hand rest next to her lightsaber. Never in your life would you think such a thought would arise in Rey's mind and it breaks your heart. It breaks your heart knowing that Rey thinks so poorly of you. You know that it would be merely out of protecting the Resistance but it still hurts nonetheless. You and Rey have been together for years and have endured so much together and it feels that all of that is now crumbling all because of what Rey saw and now assumes.

"I will do what I have to in order to protect the Resistance," she explains. "If you're a Sith and more so, a Sith spy... I..."

"Rey," you stop. "I'm not a Sith nor a spy. I'm nothing of the sort. I never have been and I never will be."

"Then what are you? Tell the truth."

You pause, feeling your heart fall in your chest as you feel Rey's pain. You peer up at her and her eyes are hard and angry but also broken. You know it's because of you and you hate it. You wish you didn't have to tell Rey like this. You honestly wish you never had to tell her but as always, Leia was right and now, it is the right time.

"I'm a Gray Jedi - that's the truth."

Rey's face falls and you can feel her blood run cold. She looks deathly pale and you feel a distance put between you. Rey looks at you as if you're some frightening life form she has never encountered before. You try to gauge your Force connection to try and make what she's feeling but you struggle dearly. All you can understand is that Rey is confused and in a state of shock. You hope she is not afraid because there truly is NOTHING to be afraid of but the way her eyes blare into yours... it's hard to say.

"No..." She utters. "You can't be... I... I would have known if you were. H, how is that even possible? How did Kylo know who you were before I did? How could he feel your power but I couldn't? You... you lied to me."

"I didn't lie. I never lied to you," you state. "I would NEVER lie to you, honey. I promise on my life."

"But you didn't tell the truth."

"I know this is hard and confronting but I couldn't tell you. It was for your own good."

"You lied to me. You may not have lied in the sense that you think but you still LIED." She hisses the word through gritted teeth and you cringe.

You know how Rey feels about lying and you feel the same way. Lying is poisonous. It's hurtful. It's destructive. It's the ultimate level of distrust and manipulation. It's as if you're not good enough for the truth even if the truth may be something you necessarily don't want to hear. It fractures and destroys relationships of any kind and nothing true and just can be built upon it. No matter the lie - big or small - it all comes crumbling down, some messes bigger than others and with it comes serious consequences.

"Rey, please," you attempt to calm her but it's no use.

Rey leaves the room, her pain prominent, causing your heart to sink even lower into your chest. You hope Rey doesn't say anything to anyone before you have a chance to explain. You understand that the news is heavy and overwhelming but you also know just how important it is for Rey to listen to you. You just hope that she comes around sooner rather than later...