⚠️ Trigger Warning - SH ⚠️
Reader is of age.
Summary- Negan is your professor and one day he sees your scars.
Today I was in one of my better moods. The kids at my school hadn't really spoken to me, they didn't even recognise my existence today, which I am more than okay with. If they noticed me then they would probably just take the absolute piss out of me and hit me like they usually do. Almost everyday.
I say 'better mood' because lately I've just been feeling.. empty. I haven't said anything because I don't want to come across as over dramatic and hormonal. I'm always tired, nothing really makes me laugh anymore, I have to put a fake smile on most of the time because I don't want to be bombarded with questions from Emma or my parents (not like they'd notice anyway), the littlest things piss me off, hell thats why I started cutting. I was so angry, at the people at my school, at myself, at everything. So, I hurt myself. I press the blade into my wrist until it starts bleeding. I normally do it a couple times until I've calmed down. It's basically my coping mechanism, it makes me feel better, makes me feel as if I'm letting go of all the emotion that's been bottled up.
I've thought about it. Leaving this place. Everyone would probably be happier without me anyways and nobody's going to be missing me anytime soon. I just.. don't know how to do it yet. Plus I don't think I really have the balls to, but honestly, I feel like something's going to push me over the edge real soon.
I ignored everyone while I made my way to the back of the classroom and sat at my desk that was in the corner, where I waited for my friend to show up. I hated this school but I didn't mind this class. The people weren't too bad like they were in the other classes, they rarely said anything to me in here. I think that's because if they did misbehave in any way, Negan and his potty mouth would surely put them in their place. Negan was a tall man with a salt and pepper beard, his dark hair was normally quite messy and he always wore his black leather jacket with his black-rimmed glasses.
I'm pretty sure I'm failing this class though, it's not entirely my fault, I get too distracted. It's just that I end up concentrating on other things instead of what he's actually saying, like the way he runs his tongue over his bottom lip every now and then before he starts talking, his deep gravely voice and the way his muscles flex.
It's stupid, to have this crush on him, I know that. I mean, I've only properly spoken to the man twice. The first time was about some assignment he helped me on, but I was so nervous that I didn't speak much. The second time was when he was the coach for gym class because the normal coach was off sick for a month. He found me in the changing room with a split lip and a black eye as a result of trying to stand up for myself. I'm sure you can imagine that there wasn't much chit chat then either.
I snap out of my thoughts when Emma, literally my only friend, came and sat at the desk next to mine. "I swear to GOD." She says whilst pulling her books out of her bag. "What happened this time?" I sighed, she was always exaggerated so I didn't expect it to be anything serious, she glared at me playfully "I hate maths. I HATE it. Why does miss Kelly always have to be such a bitch?" She sighed and put her head down onto her desk dramatically. "Was it really that bad?" I asked her, but before she could answer, the door swung open and in came Negan.
"Shut up and get your damn books out!" He shouted as he closed the door and walked across the room to his desk whilst taking his leather jacket off. He leant back against the front of his desk after draping his jacket across the back of his chair, and I couldn't help but admire how his muscles flexed, that is until a ball of paper hit the side of my head. I assumed it was one of the other kids seen as I get stuff thrown at me quite often. I cautiously looked towards where the paper had come from just to see Emma laughing at me, "What the fuck was that for?!" I whisper-yelled whilst glaring at her "You were staring at him again." She smirked and wiggles her eyebrows at me jokingly, so I rolled my eyes and picked up the ball of paper, throwing it so it hit her in the forehead.
