By your window

12.

WARNINGS: Heavily implied depression.

Five blinked in without even realizing it, since his whole being was focused into hoping the girl in the dorm was already sound asleep. Luckily, the hissing sound of his spacial jump didn't perturb the quiet of the night, and once assessed the safety of his surroundings, the boy sighed in relief.

Marben looked like a small, composed heap under a ton of covers; it was a consolation, to see her finally sleeping in her bed after she'd left it empty for several nights in a row to go and hide up somewhere else. Now she had her back to the window - curtains closed, as they had always been in the last few days, sending a clear message, STAY AWAY FIVE HARGREEVES, YOU ARSEHOLE. But at least she had come back. And Five couldn't, for the life of him, give up on the only authentic, genuinely loving and kind person he'd ever had by his side. So he cautiously approached the bed, and leaned forward to watch the girl sleep.

It wasn't the first time he had done this; back at the beginning of their acquaintance, when they didn't even know each other by name, Five had sneaked inside the dorm a couple of times to watch Marben sleep and try and understand what of her had got him hooked from the very start. Had it been her beauty? Her smile? Her intelligence, her sense of humor or the contagious euphoria she seemed to transmit whenever she played her violin? She undoubtedly was mysterious, and funny, sweet and a bit hot too (even if Five didn't know for sure what that was supposed to mean)...but what, in the first place, had got his attention to never let it go?
By then Five had still to find some of his answers, but at last those would have mattered next to nothing, since he already had rediscovered himself addicted to everything beautiful Marben had brought into his life. He'd been a heartless dick the night of their argument, he'd known from the very moment those last awful words had left his mouth. She had been worried about him, crying in sorrow, and yet he had chose to be harsh with her out of anger. He had been angry at life in general, for having been sold by his real mother and bought by a cruel man who cared for him and his siblings only for the personal gratification of seeing his final project come to fulfillment, for being subjected to hours and hours of exhausting training, for not being allowed to just spend an entire day doing whatever he liked...for, basically, not being free. And loved.
His life was a complete mess, making efforts to get his Father's approval had never gotten him anywhere, and not even the camaraderie he shared with some of his siblings was of any solace; the only person who had managed in that, so far, was the girl currently sleeping in front of him, and he had kept her at a distance, lied to her, treated her like someone worthless. A girl so pure to not resist the pressure of not having told him she had been looking up for information on him, and that so had confessed.
All of that had made him furious and bitter, exacerbating his ever-present inner malaise to the point he had had to swallow his pride and try to find a way to go back to her, asking for another chance.

Lulled by the soft, almost imperceptible sound of her breathing, Five extended a hand to move away some mutinous hair from Marben's face, and doing so he was assaulted by a tremendous rush of guilt and longing. He wished he was allowed to bury his face in those long, silky hair, then caress her soft cheek, gently turn her head and kiss those dear lips he missed so much. He yearned to wrap his arms around Marben's body and hold her tight against his chest, feeling her warmth transmit to his limbs and make him forget everything he was outside her little, cozy dorm. Five needed her delicate fingers to run through his hair, her kind voice to whisper comforting words to his ear and to be called Dimple, Love, Babe again. He craved to try all those things he had denied himself for fear of going against everything he had been taught, all the soft touches, the freedom of experiencing intimacy, the absolute sweetness of love.
Marben was pure love, and he needed her to love him again to soothe his bleeding heart.

"I can't endure anymore the mess that my life is. Not without your help" he murmured against her cheek, then kissed it tenderly. "Please, give me the chance to make amends".
She kept breathing softly, unaware of his presence, so he stayed a little bit more by her side, watching her, thinking he could die of heartache.