Waiting For Suicide

Waking Up

I woke up to the sound of beating on my door.
"Wake up Fiona"!!!
I rolled over not wanting to have to deal with this shit. I never wanted to go to school. It became a regular thing.
My thoughts were interrupted with some more vicious beating at my newly painted black door.
" Get your ass up now!! I'm not calling in sick this time!!"
I moaned then slowly got up, hating my life.
I walked to the closet and grabbed my casual school outfit. Some black skinny jeans with holes on the thighs and one on my left knee. I slowly pulled on my Nirvana crop top with my black spaghetti strap shirt underneath. I pulled my bright blonde hair in a ponytail not wanting it to be in my blue eyes. I slipped on my black converse and did my usual make up. Black thin eyeliner in the style of the wing. A little bit of black eye shadow making it the smokey eye and some sorta bright red lip stick.
"Come on!!! Bus gets here in 5min!!"
I grab my Blink 1-82 back pack and headed down stairs.
"Eat now"
I listened to my mother because I haven't ate in three days and I always ended up puking it up if I did eat anything.
My brother Jason came down stairs in his usual outfit for school as well. He was wearing tan skinny jeans which were sagging right below his butt. God I hated that.
He had his Tupac shirt on which was tucked a little behind his belt buckle. Or as he likes to call it the "tuckle"
He had his blonde hair swished to the right like the old Justin Beiber. His bright blue eyes looked really sleepy but he made it look like he wasn't sleepy at all. He had some Nirvana bracelets and some My Chemical Romance bracelets on his right wrist. Which btw had some scars from his past. He never liked to bring it up so I never ask anymore.
Mine and my brothers relashionship was really close because he knew what I was going through and he went through the same thing apparently and doesn't want me to end up like him. We are always there for each other. Through thick and thin we are at each other's side.
He is very protective of me. If anyone hurts me, then they will be the next ones to get hurt. Especially if it's a guy. Jason is in high school and just one year above me. He is in 11th and I'm in 10th. He doesn't see me around a lot in school but when we get home he is always asking me questions about my day and if there was anyone new.
I always get that question mixed up because I know now that he gives a wink when he means a new friend or a bf. Which I haven't had a bf since 8th grade. That was even fake. He only dated me to use me for sex then when I didn't give it to him he got really pissed and that's when the bullying happened. I didn't tell anyone about that year but the word got around to 9th grade which at the time my brother was in and he got really pissed with everyone. Btw he pretty much knows everyone in high school or around town.
He was pissed at me at first because I didn't tell him but he soon realized I didn't need more yelling and so he helped me. We started talking and ever since our relashionship is unbreakable. Until that one day I lost everything