niall horan blurbs

the one where you have a panic attack

trigger warning: suicide !
you can use any important person in your life to match the imagine with. if you ever need somebody to talk to, don't be afraid to send me a private message.

it had been an exhausting day when you came home. finding out that your older sister had tried to take her own life came out of nowhere. you never would have thought that your sister, your best friend in the entire world, wasn't happy at all. you visited her in the hospital today, even though she was unconscious. the way she laid on the hospital bed made you extremely scared. what if she won't make it? what if she doesn't wake up? you've tried to stay calm the entire day, but you heart felt too heavy when you walked into your boyfriend's house. you took of your shoes and your coat and you sat on the stairs for a while, niall not even noticing you had walked in.

you had called niall and texted him about the situation, but you were in the dark yourself, so you gave him a weird explanation about what was going on. you let out a heavy breath once you felt your throat tighten, you vision becoming blurry. it was getting harder for you to breathe and you felt so uneasy that you felt like passing out for a second. you get a good grip on the stairs and close your eyes, hoping the feeling would fade away soon.

but it didn't. instead you breaths got shorter by the second and you were hyperventilating and crying once niall walked into the hallway. you heard his voice far away but couldn't focus on what he was saying. you could only focus on the pressure in your chest and the tears streaming down your face. "look at me!" niall said as he put his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. "baby, it's okay. follow my breathin', you're gona be okay" he said softly and pulled you close.

"i don't understand. i just don't understand " you cried hysterically and niall rubbed your back. hoping it would calm you down. "how did i not see i-it?" you hiccup while still crying as niall shushed you. "i have so many questions but i don't even know if she'll wake up again. i couldn't even- i couldn't even sit down for a second to realize what's going on 'cause mom was all hysterical and it gives me so much anxiety" he sat down next to you on the stairs and you rested your head on his shoulder. you tried to get your breathing under control, but you didn't really feel like it was working. your chest still felt heavy and you could barely hear nialls words because of the chaos in your head.

"i need you to get very close to me okay? i'm going to hug you really tight and all you have to do is follow my breathin' alright? jus' follow me and it'll be okay" he said and got as close to you as possible, put your head in the crook of his neck and wrapped his arms around you, as he said, really tight. nialls breathing was slow and steady, and you closed your eyes and tried to focus on that instead of the wandering thoughts in your head. "breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth" he said softly and you did what he said. you felt his hand stroking your hair and you came down from being far away with your mind.

your cries became softer and your breathing got steadier. "it's okay to cry, baby" niall cooed and you let out a heavy sigh. silent tears fell down your cheeks by the thought of today. your heart was burning and breaking by the idea of your sister taking her own life. even though you had calmed down, niall made sure to hold you for a little longer, knowing that you just needed a support system at that moment. your body relaxed against his as you embraced the fact that you don't always have to be strong. you've been strong the entire day, since you weren't the one who tried to kill themselves, but keeping up with the act you've been pulling was hard. being strong around the people you love when you feel like breaking down is the most tiring thing in the world.

"you don't have to put on a brave face for me, y/n. this is your safe place to land" his voice sounded so soft and caring that it made you want to cry again, but you refused to. "come on, let's move to the couch and i'll make ya some tea and we can talk about today, okay?" he asked you and you nodded and sighed again. he released you from the embrace and looked at you worried. "'m sorry today happened baby. i really am" he whispered and you closed your eyes when you felt his hands on your cheeks, wiping away the tears. the next thing you knew is that you're in his arms, being carried to the couch to get under a blanket with niall with a cup of tea, talking and crying to process this day.

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