niall horan blurbs

the one where he wrote you a letter

dear y/n

i know being far away from each other feels like the worst thing right now, but it got me to thinking when i was in soundcheck today. i was standing on stage, with nobody watching me, but for a second it felt like you were standing right next to me. i could almost feel your hand on my shoulder when i closed my eyes, and the memory of your voice was the most beautiful sound i've ever heard in my life, i could smell your magnolia perfume like you were there. that's why i'm writing you a letter, to give you a memory to hold on to until i get back home.

if you were there with me on stage, standing next to me, i'd probably kiss you. i think kissing you is my favorite thing to do; kissing you hello, kissing you goodbye (although those kisses can be hard sometimes), kissing you goodnight or just any kind of kiss i can get. but my favorite, my absolute favorite kisses are the ones we share late at night. not the ones that get us hot, sweaty and out of breath when we get close on another level, that's my second favorite, but the ones we share when we're half asleep. the kind of kisses you place on my cheek and my chest and my neck when you're cuddling up on me in your sleep, and in return i place kisses on the top of your head and hold you a little bit tighter because i could never get enough of you. the kind of kisses i place on your bare back and your shoulder when you're the little spoon and our legs intertwine, all while we mumble soft i love you's to make sure we never forget. the kind of small kisses we place on each other's lips when you come back from the bathroom in the middle of the night, probably because you drank a lot of wine or tea before bed, and we fall asleep face to face, our lips almost touching. the kind of kisses you put on my arm when i'm laying on my back and you're sleeping on your side, while you wrap your arm around mine. the kind of kisses we have place on each other's neck when i crawl into the bed at 3 am, because you're only deep asleep when i'm next to you and you always want me to tell you when i get home safely. the kind of kisses i place on your cheek when i'm cuddled up to you for once, where i get so close to you that you're sharing your pillow with me. you never told me you mind though, so i think you might love those sleepy kisses as well. i'm not saying i love all the other kisses any less, but that's my favorite. you're my favorite.

it might also be the combination of kissing and cuddles for it to be my favorite, because whenever you're that close to me, my heart gets warm, it makes my heart glow. it makes me realize how lucky i am to have found a soul like yours, how lucky i am to fall in love with you more every single day.

sometimes, when i'm up early and it feels like we have all the time in the world, i look at you while you're still asleep. not in a creepy way, but in a loving way. i know the world has been unfair to you, you get yourself through the day even though you're tired of life throwing things at you, and i can see and feel how tired you are. that's why it's so worth it to see you sleep, it brings me so much peace to see you rest. i wish i could take away all of your hurt and hold you long enough to make sure you feel okay, but we both know that's not a realistic view to have. i'm so proud of how far you've come already, i'm so proud that you're working hard for what you want, i'm so proud that you're working on making yourself proud. i hope after reading this letter you'll be a bit more proud of yourself as well.

i want so many more sleepy nights and sleepy kisses with you, y/n. it's something i will never take for granted. i love you more than the whole universe can hold. we'll be together soon.

a very sleepy kiss,
niall