The Inceptive Flame⎪✓

❨31❩

♀︎

The tingles in my fingers soon turn to sweat, not a second ago I said bye to Elijah and immediately the harsh reality has to hit me. Choked coughs coming from the living room force my legs to move before my mind catches up. My mom is hunched over my dad's body, he is laying on the ground, her pants are filled with the blood that oozes from his mouth. His health is deteriorating, too fast for me to comprehend it.

Hurrying to sit down beside them, panic rises in my throat, "What is going on, dad? Mom?"

Dad tries to choke out some words, but this time even I can't understand a word he is saying. It breaks my heart to see the realization dawn on his face, that the one person who was able to understand him, now cannot. Tears suddenly stream down his face as he pulls and urges his body for even a small breath, his oxygen is cutting off. 

"Mom," I state and look into her saddened eyes. "We need to get him to the hospital."

She shakes her head, "Dakota, your dad doesn't want to die there, he wants to die here."

"But he isn't dying, not yet! We have to get him the treatment he needs, they promised us months, this is not enough!" 

"You're choosing with your heart, darling," The mom I've known my entire life appears slightly and it shocks me, she has been gone for so long. It's only a matter of days before the alcohol in her veins turns her against me though, crossing my arms across my chest. 

Getting control of myself before I cry in front of them, "Of course I'm choosing with my heart, he is my dad! He can't breathe, he is coughing up blood. This is not a worthy death, come on, mom!"

"The answer is no, Dakota!"

Looking down at the broken man underneath us, he gives me a nod in acceptance, thick tears stream down his lifeless and pale cheeks. He tries to take a deep breath, but comes up short as he starts coughing, this time the blood lands on me. Wiping it away with a napkin mom had, I wipe his mouth as well. 

This is not fair to him, he wants to fight for this, for us. Him accepting to die on the floor contradicts a fucking lot from what he has told me these past days, he wants to be a fighter. My hand moves on its own accord, grabbing my phone I dial 911. Telling the dispatcher what is going on and where we are, she informs me that an ambulance is on the way. 

Looking apologetically down at my dad, "I take this decision for the both of us, dad. This is your opportunity of being a fighter, please fight it."

He grabs my hand, squeezing lightly and blinking at me. He knows he has a chance here, it isn't over yet, we aren't done fighting. Ignoring the harsh and piercing stare my mom is giving me, I hold my dad's glance, smiling down at him. He doesn't need a crying daughter on top of this, this is the time for me to be strong for this family. We are not done here, he doesn't get to leave like this. 

Sirens sound from outside our house and my mom runs upstairs immediately, I don't get to question her before they barge inside and lift my dad onto a gurney. Their movements are too quick for me to see what they're doing, but suddenly they wheel him outside and ask if I want to join him. Not wasting a second, I hurry with them and lock the door behind us, jumping into the ambulance and looking down at my dad. His eyes are closed, but the oxygen mask helps his breathing immensely. 

Thankfulness that I made it home in time washes over me, my mom would have allowed him to die on the floor of our living room. She didn't even try to pull him onto the couch, she is acting like she wishes for his death to come sooner rather than later. It makes me nervous to leave him alone with her, I'm the only one with his best interest at heart. 

The possibility of him dying in the hospital tonight fills me with dread, it's so scary to consider that I can be the reason for him dying in the hospital instead of at home. If he passes away and my first instinct is to blame myself, that is the worst scenario since my dad would hate that for me. Tonight showed me that he doesn't have long, we are under a month and a half away from my graduation, tonight makes me fear that he probably won't be here for that long. He is fighting right now, but the cancer will take him from me at some point. 

"Are you his daughter?" One of the female paramedics asks me, nodding my head at her we finally reach the hospital. My legs desperately try to keep up with my dad while they wheel him inside, their long strides make it truly difficult. Jogging a little, they immediately turn to the right, opening a door I try to follow them, but some random nurse stops me by putting her hands on my shoulders. 

"You have to wait out here, honey. They will treat him," She tells me and gently tugs me into a waiting room, guiding me to sit down. Thoughts are swarming my mind, running at full speed and as the nurse tries to get words out of me my mind shuts off completely, not willing to talk to her right now. I simply cannot. "I will get you a glass of water."

A glass is placed on the table in front of me, she says a couple of words that I don't register before she leaves me to my thoughts. They will do their best to treat him, I know this, but my gut feeling is off. My dad won't come out of this unscathed, they waited too long with him not being able to breathe. His oxygen was cut off for too long.

Spotting myself in the mirror hanging on the wall, the girl staring back at me is unrecognizable. Her brown hair is tangled and very messed up, her grey eyes completely lifeless. The freckles pebbled across her nose and cheeks are the only contrast to her deadly pale skin, the life is sucked out of her completely. It is terrifying to see yourself, but not recognizing who that person is, at all.