Broken

Fifteen.

"Cut!" Chris announced from behind the camera. I exhaled a cloud of smoke above my head and shifted my stance. "Did you see the way Tommy changed his expression in the middle of that line?" Chris smiled, glancing up to me and pointed to the playback on the screen. I nodded my head, inhaling another long hit from the cigarette. I watched the playback but I could feel Chris' eyes on me. "Hey...what's wrong?" He said the words so quietly I could barely hear them. I looked around us as carefully as I could.

"Jake is parked in front of the building." I pointed to the direction with the cigarette.
"Why?" Chris asked. I shrugged my shoulders. My eyes were glued to the screen so hard that the screen went blurry. I didn't want to see Chris' reaction.
"Mykie told me about ten minutes ago. She went to grab stuff from her car and she saw him."
"Is he still there?"
"Yup. Remember I told you I blocked him from social media and blocked his number after that bullshit at the old house last month?" I watched Chris nod his head. "So, he's probably pissed off. I'm not even supposed to be here today." I finally met my eyes with Chris' to see his now scowling expression. "Sorry to bring you into this." I mumbled sharply. I turned to walk away when I heard Chris say something then get up from his chair. I took a few steps toward my trailer before a hand pulled my arm. The force spun me around to see Chris. A few of the crew members were shouting things about what to do. Chris held up a finger to them and told them to give him a minute. He brought his focus back to me. I held back the tears with all my strength.
"Let's talk in your trailer." I tossed the cigarette onto the ground.

Chris held the trailer's door open for me. I walked into the trailer sluggishly knowing I had to hold back the tears until I was inside. I sat on the small lounge chair. Chris shouted to someone about giving him a few minutes again before shutting the door behind him. He took off his headphones and set them onto a chair next to me. I kept my head down but I still saw his finger motioning for me to come to him. Right when I stood up, he engulfed me into his arms.

"You have nothing to apologize for." He whispered into my hair. "You're not bringing me into anything..." I held my breath. "...besides wanting you." I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. His hands rubbed my back before stopping at my arms. He pulled me in front of him to cup my face with his hands. His thumbs wiped away the tears so calmly, it made me want to cry more. "I'm going to talk to him."
"No, no." I held onto his wrists. "I need to." I looked into his eyes as he nodded his head. "How could...you be this...this...good to me?" I said between sharp breathes. A smile curled the side of his mouth.
"Because when you look at me with those gorgeous blue eyes..." I lifted my eyes to his. He wiped away more tears. "...I tell myself to never let you go." I dropped my head onto his chest and cried more. "Oh, no! That was supposed to make you happy." He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me again.
"It does!" I exclaimed into his chest. His little chuckle again made me smile. I ran my fingers up and down his sides, deeply inhaling his scent. I kept my face smothered by his chest. "I guess now would be an awkward time to ask you to go with me to Mykie's birthday party tomorrow."
"Is that what you two have been talking about for a month?" He still kept his voice low. I nodded my head. The anxiety melted away with his hands rubbing my back again.
"She rented half of The Spare Room for the whole night. It's 90's theme so everyone has to wear ridiculous 90's attire. I was going to ask you later today, which is why I came to set. But as always, he has impeccable timing to ruin something."

"Hey.." He softly whispered. I raised my head from his chest. His hand cupped my face again. "...I'll be there." I bit my bottom lip with anticipation for his next move. He lowered his lips to mine. The gentle pecks made my knees weak.

Mykie and I walked to the front of the building together. Mykie tried convincing me to let her go with me as backup but I forced her to at least wait by the door. Inside the building.
Jake's black Mercedes sparkled in the sun as I approached it hesitantly. I took in a deep breath then lit a cigarette. My eyes met with Jake's in his side-door mirror. I was worried to find out the feeling I would get once I saw his eyes again. The car door opened and Jake stepped out. He took one last hit of his cigarette before flicking it onto the ground. Our eyes met again.

"Hey." He walked to the back of his car, leaned against it and smiled.
"Hi." I smiled awkwardly. His eyes scanned my entire body. I tugged at the baggy Star Wars shirt.
"I heard Tom Hardy took over my role. That's going to turn out a lot better than me."
"Mhmm." I growled. I scratched nervously at my tattoos on my forearm. His eyes scanned me from head to toe again.
"You look good."
"Thanks. Um..why are you here?"
"I wanted to talk to you. This is the only place I knew you'd be. You've blocked me on everything, I don't know where your new place is—"
"You have my lawyer's information."
"Sarah."
"Can you blame me? The last time I saw you, you were a fucking asshole." I inhaled a long hit from the cigarette and exhaled the smoke over our heads.
"I know...it's just..the divorce is almost final and we're still married so I figured we owe it to each other to at least be friends or friendly—"
"Just because we are legally married doesn't mean I owe you anything—"
"I'm not saying—"

"Let me talk. Please." He nodded. "I had you in my life for five years, Jacob. Every day of those five years, I saw you. I talked to you. Even with your busy schedule, you made sure I never fell asleep alone. Then, you're gone...because of a chick in a cafe. Plus whoever else you—"
"There wasn't anyone el—" I glared my eyes at him. He held up his hands.
"You were ripped away from me. Regardless of how many times it happened between you two or if it was worth it at that time...you broke me." His eyes met mine, filling with more sadness. I glanced at the cigarette burnt down to the end. I stomped it out. I took in another deep breath. "I need to be okay with sleeping alone." He lowered his head as he nodded in acceptance and defeat. I started to walk back inside.
"Hey.." He whispered to my back. I didn't turn around. "..I'm sorry."
"I know." I walked back into the building with a victorious smile. I finally got the apology I had been waiting for.