Broken

Thirty Five.

A bathroom has a different feel to it when you are praising the porcelain throne. I don't throw up. I can't remember the last time I threw up. Usually people throw up because of extreme pain, crying too much or sickness. I don't have any broken bones, I haven't experienced anything to make me cry and I don't feel sick.
But I don't have anything left in my stomach.
Worse part, I'm in Chris' house. Chris' Boston house. We flew here immediately after the Oscars to celebrate with his extended family. I don't have Mykie, Roxy or Carrie. I perked up my body at the sound of a knock on the door.

"Sarah? Are you okay?" Scott's voice from the other side of the bathroom door. I was relieved it was Scott. We were actually starting to get really close.
"One sec." I replied with my burning throat. I flushed the toilet, wiped my mouth and gargled mouthwash. I messed with my hair the best I could but it was hopeless. I unlocked the bathroom door and opened it to him holding a glass of water and a bottle of Pepto Bismol. I covered my mouth bashfully.
"I could hear you from downstairs. What is going on?" He handed me the glass of water. I gulped it down.
"I have no idea." I replied, gasping for air after drinking the water. I shrugged a shoulder.

"What did you eat last night?"
"I had a few bites of Chris' sandwich on the plane."
"Anything before that?"
"Not really. I was too busy to eat."
"Yeah, too busy sweeping the Oscars." He muttered through his teeth. We both laughed at the true reality. I rubbed my stomach as it ached from the laughter.
"Maybe it was the redeye?"
"Ha! You have been on enough planes and redeye flights to not let it affect you for the rest of your life."
"That's true!" I joined him in his laughter again. "I was feeling kinda weird yesterday. I figured it was just my anxiety getting the best of me." I shrugged a shoulder. His eyes squinted as he pondered something.
"What do you mean by 'weird'?"
"I have been so fucking exhausted..like my soul needs a nap. I was a little queasy yesterday but it was the fucking Oscars so I was nervous." I grimaced as I gently pushed onto my sore boobs under my tank top.
"Have you gotten your period?"
"Not yet. This is gonna be one brutal period though." Scott didn't say anything else. The smirk curling the side of his mouth had me frozen in place, still holding my boobs.

"I'll be right back." He spun around gracefully. "That's the last of the Pepto so I'll go get more."
"Umm. Okay." I glanced at the brand new unopened bottle of Pepto Bismol. "Oh! Can you pick up Starburst jellybeans? I have been craving them for days!" I yelled at him. I heard a mixture of a malicious laughter with 'yup' as the front door slammed shut behind him. He must really be excited to go to the grocery store. I climbed into Chris' bed. If there's one thing that I enjoyed the most about being in his house, it's his bed. The damn thing was so soft. Dodger crawled over to me to kiss my nose.
"Awww, thank you Dodge." I pet his head, watching his eyes blink at every pet. Chris wasn't going to be home until late tonight. He had to do last minute work on his website, A Starting Point. I didn't mind at all since it meant Dodger and I had the whole bed to ourselves.

A few more minutes went by then Scott returned. He tossed the bag of jellybeans onto the bed. I sat up and bounced my body in excitement. I ripped it open and shoveled a handful in my mouth.
"Okay, come here." Scott still had another plastic bag in his hand and motioned me over with the other. We walked to the bathroom keeping his back to me. I could hear him wrestling something out of a plastic bag. He turned around to hand me the item. My shoulders lowered with the expression on my face.
"Scott..this is a pregnancy test." I said irritated, still chewing on the jellybeans.
"Mhm." He said with a firm nod of his head.
"I've been down this road. A lot."
"Maybe it's finally the time you get to take a new road."
"It's going to be negative." I scoffed. He held out his pointed finger in the direction to the toilet. I grunted loudly, dragging my feet as I trudged into the bathroom.

I peed on the end of the stick, put the cap back on and flushed the toilet. I asked Siri on my iPhone to start a timer for three minutes. I knew the routine so well, I could do it in my sleep. I opened the door to the bathroom to see Scott holding a little silver tray with a paper towel folded on top. I laughed and placed the test, facing upward. Scott carried it and sat at the edge of the bed. I washed my hands, set the phone next to Scott on the bed and began my anxious pacing. Every step I took was a jellybean popped into my mouth.
Scott and I were silent. We didn't even nervously laugh whenever our eyes met during my pacing. Along with every single time I've taken a pregnancy test, it felt like the longest three minutes of my life. The alarm chimed. I froze in place. Scott stopped the alarm calmly with one hand still holding the tray. His eyes met mine with tears building.

"Sarah..it was positive the moment you set it onto the tray." He whispered. All the air escaped my lungs. I almost dropped the bag of jellybeans onto the floor so I placed them onto the bed. I took a few steps closer to him as he held up the tray. It wasn't only positive but the pregnant line was darker than the control line. I'm really pregnant.
"I'm..pregnant." I said aloud. I picked up the test and stared at the two lines. The tears flowed down my cheeks as I looked up at Scott. He wiped the tears from his eyes as he motioned for me to hug him. I wrapped my arms around him.
"How are you going to tell him?" I shrugged my shoulders. We laughed as we released each other from the hug. I continued to stare at the test. The idea came to my head. My smile grew wider as I raised my eyes.
"In a screenplay."
"Oh, my god! Yes!" He boasted as he embraced me into a tight hug again.
I typed up the pretend screenplay with characters describing me and Chris named Savannah and Christian. I wrote their relationship to be just like ours; a friendship that blossomed into romance. The first kiss. The first fight. Dancing to More than Words under twinkling lights. The way Christian's eyes lit up when Savannah gave the speech for accepting the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. The moment that Christian will now hear the news that Savannah is pregnant when he turns his head to see her handing him the positive pregnancy test. Scott chased away more tears from his eyes as he read the words on the screen.

"That's perfect." He cried. I giggled gently, wiping more tears from my eyes. "When is he going to be home?"
"Few hours."
"Alright, I'll try to compose myself and go downstairs." He hugged me again tightly before leaving the room. I gulped down more Pepto before brushing my teeth, with a few gags, then guzzled down water. I blinked my eyes to my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My hands instinctively cupped my stomach. The tears tickled my cheeks.
"I'm pregnant." I whispered to myself. I got startled by Dodger bolting out the room. That only meant one thing: Chris is home.
Panic. I fixed my hair, wiped away the tears, grabbed the pregnancy test, sat on the bed, shoved the test under my leg and placed my laptop in front of me. I rest my head on my fist. My usual pose for my writer's block and Chris knows what to do when he sees it. Chris' voice and his footsteps got closer.
Seeing him walk into the room almost made me cry. Hold it together.

"Hey baby—oh." Chris was taking off his suit jacket to see me in my thinking pose.
"Hi babe." I said through a clenched jaw and keeping my eyes on the screen.
"New script?" He knew to choose his words carefully. I only nodded my head with it still firmly attached to my fist. He was standing at the edge of the bed to remove his tie and collared shirt. His biceps swelling from the undershirt's sleeves as he removed his belt. "Do you want me to read it, baby?" His words were still cautious and gently spoken. I took in a deep breath to release it slowly, trying to control the nerves and nausea. I waited for his eyes to meet mine before nodding slowly. He turned around to peal off the suit pants. I admired his ass in his briefs. I embraced for impact just as he flung his body onto the bed. I swallowed harshly handing him my laptop. I made sure to do my usual routine of hiding my face with the comforter. Only this time, my right hand held onto the positive pregnancy test tightly. I peaked my eyes out of the blanket to see him laying on his right side, holding himself up by his elbow. His eyes scanning the words and his left hand stroking his beard.
I could see the moment that it clicked. His eyes sped up to read the words faster. His left hand now covering his mouth. "'She hands him a positive pregnancy test..'." He reads out loud from behind his hand. I did just that.