Doritos (Lashton)

We're Gonna Be Ok (Alternate End)

A/n: here's a little alternate ending just cuz that last one was sad :(

Takes place after I SAWED YOU ON TV
*****
Ashton groaned and buried his head further into Luke's chest, hands blocking his ears as the knocks on the door grew heavier.

It was irritating, really, that Ashton and Luke couldn't just sleep there in peace, but, they had a flight to catch later, and apparently they had to say proper goodbyes.

At least luke did, considering Ashton still didn't feel like he belonged. It felt awkward, really, the only people acknowledging him other than Luke being Ryan. It was rather infuriating at first, the way Ryan constantly taunted him and everyone let it slide, and Ashton soon resided to Luke's room, sighing in defeat when an hour passed.

No one came looking for him, of course they didn't.

Ashton slunk under Luke's covers, yawning as he let himself fall asleep, blanket tightly wrapped around him.
*****
It took Luke about 30 seconds to notice Ashton was missing.

The second he did, he grabbed Ryan's collar and dragged him to the driveway, kicking the other out. As much as Lynn opposed, Luke didn't care, and began to search for Ashton.

His fingers had ghosted over the door knob, before he turned on his heel and left, knowing Ashton needed some space. It was this sort of reliance Luke had been straying away from, and he hoped that Ashton would be ok on his own.

Luke spent the next hour aimlessly with his family, excusing Ashton by saying he was sleeping. It seemed to work, and when Luke finally cracked the door open and peeked inside, he saw just that, Ashton curled up.

It was adorable, really, and Luke wanted nothing more than to cuddle Ashton to death, however, it was nearly time for lunch, and there wasn't any way Luke was going to allow Ashton to skip that.

"Ash? Baby boy, come on, it's lunch"

Ashton yawned quietly, nose scrunching before he pulled Luke towards him, eyes fluttering shut again. Luke sighed and kissed his forehead, shaking him awake again.

"Please sweetheart? We can get...Doritos after?"

Ashton opened one eye at this, before he huffed and tiredly sat up, rubbing his eyes before he pulled Luke forward, mumbling between kisses.

Luke smiled softly and pulled away, ruffling Ashton's curls before he headed into the bathroom, allowing Ashton time to get dressed.

When they were both finally ready, Luke drove Ashton all the way downtown, before they'd return to collect their baggage, and would head home. Then they'd spent the next month or so in the comfort of their own homes just...relaxing.

Which is what Ashton was supposed to think.

Luke being the amazing boyfriend he was, well, he had more up his sleeve.

He was a lot more excited than usual, which Ashton could tell, but he didn't press it, and instead kept his fingers tightly intertwined with Luke as he walked around the mall.

They did encounter a few fans, which was nice, and by the time they were back home, things felt quite alright.

Luke was excited, and Ashton was on a little bit of a edge, slight urges causing him to stay close to Luke. The problem was however, that Luke was indirectly causing these urges.

Since the talk about Ashton's reliance, a strange fear set in, and now, now Ashton worried that Luke would want to leave him. It left him scared, and made him want to curl up in a corner and never come out.

Since that wasn't realistic, Ashton chose the next best option.

He prolonged it all day, in hopes that the sick feelings bubbling in his stomach would go away, but they didn't.

Ashton grew more restless as hours passed, and by the time they were on the plane, he was jittering in his seat, anxiously glancing between his backpack and the bathroom.

Luke took hold of Ashton's hand, nibbling his lip ring before he lifted Ashton's chin up slightly.

"Ashton, I need to tell you something"

Ashton's heart stopped and his eyes widened, lip trembling as he buried his face into his hands. Choked sobs left him, his muffled voice coming out cracked and raw.

"N-no, p-please lukey! N-no, I l-love y-you so- so much, please do-don't break up with me"

Luke's eyes widened in confusion, and when it finally clicked, he lifted Ashton's face, and let his own eyes meet Ashton's watery ones.

"No, no, never sweetheart, I love you too"

Ashton whimpered softly, eyes fixed on Luke's. Luke reassured him again, and wrapped his arms around him, pressing small kisses between his mumbles.

"I'm not breaking up with you, I won't ever. I wanted to tell you that we aren't actually going to be spending the next little while in LA. We're gonna be doing a little song writing trip, and I just wanted you to rest"

"O-oh"

Ashton mumbled and turned his flaming face, embarrassed, until he felt Luke's head against his back.

"It's alright babe"
*****
Ashton glared at the sliver of razor blade that rested in his palm, questioning his own existence.

Why was he even alive?

He sighed before he gently played with the metal, contemplating what he was about to do.

Despite all the good things that had happened, his insecurities and anxiety always cut through. They always spoiled everything, and Ashton was so fed up.

Fed up with himself, fed up with the world.

Sitting there on the cold bathroom floor he realized two things.

One, Luke was so strong. Luke dealt with him and helped him, yet remained strong for Ashton, and it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for him.

Two, if Luke was so strong, than Ashton could be as well. He'd come such a long way, from that anxious kid in the corner of the lunch room, to a drummer in a famous band, who managed to hold on, no matter how rough it got.

He was a fighter.

Ashton dug the remaining blades from his phone case, and shyly called for Luke. Luke came in moments later, fear filling his face as he carefully took hold of Ashton's few blades, and tossed them away.

"No, Luke, I'm ok"

"What?"

"I'm...ok. I wanna fight, I wanna be better"

"Oh sweetheart, you have been fighting. You've been getting better, and you're so, so strong."

"Are we gonna be ok?"

"We're gonna be better than ok"