Anti-everything but you || Vmon

13. Don't fall out of love

"Jackson, what do you want?", namjoon asked. He was surprisingly calm and honestly, he couldn't be more thankful. The least he wanted to do right now was be a weak, stuttering mess in front of his ex.

"You", Jackson said simply and namjoon choked on air. It had been years and Jackson still hadn't stopped chasing after him. He would've succeeded if he hadn't broken namjoon's fragile heart one too many times.

"Stop. I don't wanna hear your shit. If you have any real thing to say, say it right now or else get out of here. I have a concert to prepare for", namjoon huffed, voice laced with us much confident as he could muster.

Jackson pouted, trying to look cute and innocent. But namjoon was having none of it. "Jackson, please", he said through gritted teeth. Jackson sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? But it was your fault too!", he said, annoyed.

Namjoon let out a humorless chuckle. "My fault?", he scoffed, "You fucking cheated on me with my best friend! How can you say it was m-my f-f-fault!?", he managed to stammer out.

Jackson sighed again. "I know it's not entirely your fault. I'm sorry. But you have to know that i didn't have other options with me", he reasoned. Namjoon looked ready to kick him in the shin. "Options!? Was I not dating you!? How could you even think about having other options!?", he shouted.

Jackson stood up, making namjoon stand up with him. "You know what, namjoon? Fuck you. It was all your fault I cheated. You didn't come home for fucking months! You didn't stay on call for more than ten minutes! You didn't have time to kiss me or hold me or even take me out on little dates! And I hated it, hated every second, every minute of it!", Jackson cried, chest heaving, body wracking with sobs.

Namjoon looked speechless, his own eyes going wet. "I-I'm sorry. I know I f-fucked up b-b-but you c-could've told me. We could've f-figured something out or even broken up. You didn't have to ch-cheat. And there are things I-I'm not m-mentioning just for the s-sake of your sanity", he whispered the last part, too overwhelmed to speak loudly.

Jackson laughed, a mocking sound. Namjoon shivered. He hated when Jackson did that. It hurt. It hurt so bad. "You think I wanted to? No, I didn't. I loved you, joon. Heck, god knows I still do! But you were never there!", he exclaimed.

"Never", a broken sound and then a pause, "But he was. Jaebum. He made me feel loved, made me feel important. I started liking him. We never did anything though and the one time we did, you caught us. I ended things, joon-ah. Not because I felt guilty but because I didn't love him, I loved you. I still do. I do", Jackson explained, biting on his lower lip to keep himself from crying.

"Jackson", namjoon started but didn't get to finish and Jackson wildly shook his head. "I'm not some slut, namjoon. And please, I'm not after you for your stupid money. You know that. I just love you and that's why I'm always trying to get back to you. I know I did wrong and I'd really appreciate if you could forgive me", and with that, Jackson was out of the dressing room, just like that.

He looked at the bouquet and the card that Jackson had left. A small smile made its way to namjoon's lips when he saw the words on it. Jackson was sweet. But he couldn't forget how heartbroken he had been when he had seen his then boyfriend with his best friend, naked and flushed.

It was painful. He hadn't cried though. He had acted normal, happier even. He had tried fooling everyone around him but he couldn't have possibly fooled himself. He had broken up after that. No explanation from Jackson, nor from Jaebum.

It was done. They never talked, neither of them. Jaebum had moved somewhere in Indonesia and Jackson had moved here, London. Of course namjoon had forgotten about that. Well, him remembering would have probably made it worse.

He couldn't help but feel guilty about the way he treated Jackson. Yeah, he wasn't at fault alone but he kind of made Jackson do that. However much the man loved him, it was obvious that it was hard for him to stay without namjoon for so long. Even more, without any contact whatsoever.

Maybe he would have to call Jackson later and invite him for a drink or two, in order to make up for the past mistakes he made. Those, which he never intended to repeat again.

His phone buzzed.

Taebaby💜

Namjoon sighed. He didn't feel like talking to anyone right then. It would've been too much for him. So he didn't. Sliding the red icon and keeping his phone down, not thinking much about it.

"Namjoon, you go on stage in ten!", he heard someone shout. "Okay!", he yelled back, cracking his muscles. He was not ready to do a performance.
___________________________________

On the other side, taehyung frowned, not used to his call being cut, much less from Namjoon. He had made taehyung promise that he'd call him once he boarded the plane, safe and sound.

Did he forget? He shook his head. Maybe the elder was just busy with other things. He would call him later. Taehyung settled on that.

He sat on the seat, all ready to head out for his little trip. He was wearing a light blue shirt with some navy jeans and a pair of chelesea. To say that he felt sexy was an understatement.

As he rested his head on the plane seat, his gut twisted. There was a uneasy feeling in there. One that told him that there was something wrong but he ignored it.

Everything was going just fine. He had no choice but to trust himself and namjoon. Also, it wasn't like his boyfriend could just simply not like him anymore. He couldn't possibly fall out of love (like?) with taehyung in mere weeks.

Or could he?