Ongoing Cycle

11

     She couldn't stop thinking about him. No matter how hard she tried, [Y/N] couldn't stop thinking about the way his eyes burned into hers and the warm hand that made contact to her body, electrocuting her. Whenever she'd imagined the scene again, small flutters would erupt in her stomach that she would desperately try to ignore, but at the same time, anger would tear through her heart. She hated him—no, despised him even more after that encounter. She hated how much control he had over her at that moment. It really did make her out to be one of his....girls.

     "Sexual assaulter!" she yelled in frustration in the midst of her silent room. Kicking her feet up and slamming them back down on the bed in repeat, she did that to calm herself down. She squeezed her pillow tight and screamed some more into it. A week had already passed from that one damn soccer game, but she was still just as angry.

     Luckily she didn't totally fall for his stupid charms that day, because with a bright red face, she pulled away and ran down the benches, far away from him.

      Stopping her tantrum before she woke her parents up and have them rush up to her room to scold her, she then climbed out of her bed to get ready for the new school day. Tying her [h/c] hair into an easy ponytail, she walked to the bathroom across her room to brush her teeth.

     Within ten minutes she was finished with her morning routine. Draping a sweatshirt over her uniform, she picked up her backpack and climbed downstairs. Seeing that the kitchen was empty of life, she let out a breath of relief. She didn't have to deal with her parents this morning. Passing through the cabinets, she dug into the food closet to grab a quick granola bar to eat.

      She slid it into her pocket and rushed out of the house. School started in about twenty minutes and it usually took her ten minutes to get there. She nodded to herself and wrapped her sweatshirt closer to herself. Perfect timing.

     The ten minutes passed by fairly quickly, with her mind lost in her worries about school, her parents, Miku, and....Kuro.

     She walked into the school building and passing through the groups of chattering students, she headed to the spot where she usually met Miku in the mornings. It was at a corner near a staircase, isolated from a lot of the students. It was a great place to hold a conversation with a friend, which was why they liked the spot.

     Arriving there, she saw that her best friend was already there. She softly smiled and looked out the long window near the secluded spot. It showed the red track field that had the rising sun stretch across it. She sat down at the cushion chair beside her friend.

     Miku yawned loudly. "Hey [Y/N]. Are you ready for our presentation today?"

     She nodded. She had gone over it multiple times, reading it out loud and making sure she knew her parts. It didn't make her any less nervous though. Public speaking was one of her weaknesses. At least Miku was her partner; she was the more confident of the two. "Give me some of your courage if you would please," she teased her friend.

     The black-haired girl giggled. "You're not even bad at presenting."

     "I'm not ever going to be as good as you," she argued.

     Her best friend widened her eyes at something in realization and she completely changed the topic. "Oh! I talked to Kuro yesterday and he wants to invite the two of us to hang out with him sometime."

     [Y/N] froze. Why the hell did he invite her for? Also, when were the two of them so close already? She sighed. It seemed as if her life was revolving around that stupid player lately. She couldn't get a break from him. "I reject his offer...and so should you," she bluntly responded.

     Miku frowned but did not seem surprised. "You really don't like him, do you?"

     She gave her a bewildered look. "Have you not seen the things he's done?! If you....ever date him in the future, he's only going to make you miserable."

     "Woah. You're getting ahead of yourself. I don't plan on dating him," the dark-haired girl denied.

     She blinked for a few moments, confused about that newfound knowledge. "What do you mean? Then why are you hanging around him?"

     The girl was silent for a moment as she looked down at her lap. Fiddling with her fingers for a few seconds, she took a deep breath and looked at [Y/N] in the eyes. "I want to be friends with him. I've always been jealous of other girls who can easily make friends with boys. So I want to broaden up my friend group," she explained. Her beautiful cheeks turned a little red. "I'm not going to pretend that I don't have feelings for him though."

     [Y/N] clenched her hands on the arms of the couch. What the actual fuck did she just hear?! "Are you saying I'm not enough?"

     Miku widened her eyes and shook her head. "No! You will always be my best friend."

     "Then....then...why? You know becoming just friends with him won't work, right? You know that your feelings will only grow, right? And that you'll only end up getting hurt...." she whispered.

     "Don't you trust me [Y/N]?"

     As she stared back at her beautiful friend and the long lashes that encircled her big, bright eyes, she thought about the things she had to do for Miku. She thought about how her best friend could not understand her strict lifestyle. She thought of the problems she could not tell Miku. It was as if her friend had a perfect life that couldn't be burdened by her struggles. She never noticed how different they were until now.

     She realized that she couldn't trust her....at least for now.

     "I....I don't know."

     Her best friend's eyes grew large in horror. "W-wait-"

     "I'm sorry," she interrupted, abruptly standing up. With her hair covering her face, she hurriedly got out of there. Tears streaming down her face, she could almost feel the crack in her heart.