Ongoing Cycle

24

The next morning she had walked outside for school to find a surprise waiting for her. Stopping mid-step, [Y/N] widened her eyes at the sight of Miku, who was sitting on the porch's step. Her heart beating through the wave of pain, shame, and awkwardness, she immediately got the urge to rush back inside. Why was her friend, who she had not talked to for weeks, here? Was she going to end their friendship for good this time? Just thinking about it made [Y/N] afraid. Miku had been her only true friend during her entire life. Would it really end over something this petty?

     It was too late to scurry back inside. The loud swing of the door had caught the girl's attention, leaving [Y/N] wincing at the thought of this dreaded conversation. "Good morning [Y/N]," she greeted easily and turning her head to look at her. She was wearing her long hair in two pigtails today, making her look extremely adorable.

    "Good morning," [Y/N] responded quietly. Fiddling with her jacket's zipper, she did not know what else to say.

    Miku, being the girl that knows how to initiate stuff, helped broke the silence. "Sorry for this intrusion.....but I'm here to give you an apology."

    Her lips parted in shock. Those were the least expected words she thought would ever come out of her friend's mouth. Miku had always been stubborn and her pride often prevented her from apologizing to anyone. She looked at the familiarity of her friend's face and could feel tears welling up. She missed seeing her and talking to her....but the problem was, she was being a total hypocrite. Even though she had been the one to tell her friend to stay away from Kuro, she had been the one talking to him.

     "Before you apologize to me, I need to tell you something," she interrupted. The girl in front of her nodded patiently and stood up from where she sat. "Walk to school with me?"

    So the two girls straightened themselves out and aimed towards the sidewalks. Walking side by side, [Y/N]'s mind swirled with confusing thoughts. She didn't know how to explain this to her friend. The only idea she got out of this small little brainstorm was to start off with her parents. So that was what she did. "I think the reason why we got into that fight was because of my insecurities," she began. "I haven't been truthful either, since I was keeping secrets about my life from you."

     She took a deep, staggering breath. She hated the quiver in her voice...it was as if she was doing a presentation all over again. "But I want you to know that I kept these things from you not because I wanted to hurt you. I shouldn't be making excuses.....anyway, here is what you deserve to know. I don't want to this to drag out too long, so I'm just going to go ahead and say it. My parents are perfectionists, as well as a little abusive towards me."

     Miku looked at her in horror and suddenly grabbed her hand, as if to give her comfort. It was a wonderful feeling to her, to have someone cover their own hands on hers. The warmth of it made her want to cry again. "You can't live with them, [Y/N]. You have to tell someone about this and get help."

    She quickly shook her head. "It's not too bad. They're only like that when I don't reach their expectations." She also wanted to tell Miku about the unnerving feeling of wanting to impress her parents, regardless of how mean they were....but she didn't know how to say it in a way that wouldn't make her sound crazy.

      "You're a victim...it doesn't look too bad to you because this was how you were raised. You have to tell someone," the girl pleaded.

      Maybe this was a bad idea. She knew Miku was just really worried for her, but it was making things complicated. "I....can't. Can we talk about this another time? Now's not the time and I wanted to talk about something else instead."

     Her friend opened her mouth to protest, but no words came out of her mouth. She reluctantly agreed and let her continue her explanation. "Now onto Kuro," she sighed. She then noticed her friend blushing, either in shame or because she still liked him. Ignoring it, she began to explain every detail about her encounters with the boy, and it wasn't until they were at the school that she finished. She had told Miku everything, from the secret hideout to the fake boyfriend mission she was trying to accomplish for her parents.

      "I wouldn't blame you if you never forgive me," she whispered, clenching her fists that laid by her side.

      She almost expected the pretty dark head to walk away and never talk to again, but instead, those arms threw them around her. Being squeezed tightly, [Y/N] hugged back and set her head on her friend's shoulders. "Of course I would forgive you. It's not like you're purposely trying to steal Kuro or anything. Besides, he's just a guy," Miku said. "Also, I've been in the wrong too. I've been selfish and I haven't been by your side during these hardships. You must've been in a lot of trouble when you went to that Halloween party for me. I'm so sorry."

      They finally let each other go. "It's not like you knew. It was my fault I kept secrets from you," [Y/N] argued.

      The pretty girl only shook her head. Her eyes then grew serious again. "About your parents...I...the fact that you're pretending be a gold digger to satisfy your parents into treating you better...is beyond me. I really don't think this is a good—"

      "Can you please trust me on this?" she begged with a sad smile on her face.

      Miku paused for a few seconds with eyes that were clouded in concern. "....Okay. I trust you."

     Though she should've been elated that she got her friend back, the consuming feelings of knowing that she had just burdened her friend's perfect life like that...was making [Y/N] despise herself.