Ongoing Cycle

55

Sitting on Miku's bed with their school uniforms still on, [Y/N] laid down on the comforter and yawned. The TV in front of them played a cartoon show and her friend was blasting music from her phone. It seemed like an ordinary day...and indeed, this was the most normal she'd felt since weeks. Nowadays, school was not normal, home was not normal, and the world was not normal. So in the confines of Miku's cozy room, this was the haven for her.

Miku excitedly shoved her phone into her face. She warily looked at it to see that it a boy group singing something. With their dance skills all over the place and the background way too colorful, she shied away from it. "Can you believe they finally came out with a new music video?!" her friend yelled into her ear. The dark-haired girl noticed her reaction and scowled. "Fine, you don't deserve to be their fan anyway."

"I'm sorry," she said exasperatedly. "I'm exhausted. I barely had an ounce of sleep last night."

Miku's offended face quickly turned into worry. She shut off her phone and stuffed it into her pocket. [Y/N] wanted to object her from doing so, since the music, though it was annoying, was one of the few things that distracted her from everything. "Don't apologize...that was really insensitive of me. Are you doing okay? Is...Kuro doing okay?"

[Y/N] shifted herself into a sitting position and hugged one of the pillows tightly. She sighed. "I honestly don't know. There's been too many things going on at once and I can't seem to keep up with it."

"Do you want to talk about it? Let it all out?" her friend suggested. The girl inched closer to her and gave her a side hug. She squeezed her nice and firm, patting the side of [Y/N]'s arm in a gentle motion.

She didn't exactly want to talk about it, but once again, she no longer wanted to keep secrets from her best friend. Who knows? Maybe she would feel better if she let it all out; after all, the other times she did that, it had gone smoothly. What was she going to say about Kuro cheating on her though? She had a feeling Miku would disapprove of her for still staying with him. Should she tell her then?

"Okay...I'll talk about it."

Her friend nodded and gave her a determined look. Though she was the more talkative of the two, she was ready to listen.

"Last month was when the news got out that I was dating Kuro," she muttered. "To this day, I still don't know who told it to everyone. But...I hated it. I hated hearing people talk about me. I could hear them make bets behind my back, cashing money to see how long I would stay with him. I could hear girls' remarks about my looks, and how I did not deserve someone like him. You said to ignore them, but it was so hard.

"Then, Kuro asked me out on a date. I accepted, and was really nervous and excited for it...but when the day came, he never showed up-"

"That bitch!" The pale girl seethed in her spot, giving [Y/N] a dismayed glance.

"He had a really good reason," she protested.

"Reason or not, I don't care! How could he do that to you?!"

"Do you want to listen to my problems or not?" [Y/N] coldly asked her, her tired face looking strict. Miku snapped her mouth shut and decided not to interrupt her anymore. Taking a deep breath, she continued her story. "You were right. I should've been cautious of Shou, because he hurt me. He never wanted to be my friend in the first place. I was so stupid to think that our friendship was real. I should've known, and I'm sorry for not listening to you from the beginning.

"Now...back to my boyfriend. He asked me out a second time to make up for what he'd done. We went on the date and it was amazing. So I forgave him, willing to give him a second chance. A few days later, I walked in on him to find him...cheating on me." Afraid to look at her friend's face, she stared at the ground...but she could feel the anger radiating off the girl beside her.

This...was a really bad idea. If Miku got that angry just because Kuro couldn't make it to her date, she was probably furious by now. Which was so surprising, since the girl was known to be more lenient on people's mistakes, while [Y/N] was the one who never gave anyone mercy. It was as if the two of them had switched roles. How did they change so much within the span of months?

"This happened around the time his dad died. He came to stay at our house and he looked truly broken. I have to be there for him, Miku! He made a mistake! I can sense that he does love me. He won't cheat on me again...I....I know it," she explained. She sounded desperate and she knew she sounded cringe worthy, but....she wished her friend would just believe in her. "With his father gone, people at school are still talking about us. And I'm so, so tired of it."

She wasn't surprised when Miku could only focus on the cheating aspect of the story. The girl stood up from the bed, shaking her head and her eyes disappointed. "Cheating is not a mistake...that was a choice he made. This is not who you are, [Y/N]."

"What?"

"You were this independent, strong, ass-kicking woman who gave zero shits about boys. You would've never crawled back to a cheating idiot," she pointed out, pulling at her dark locks in frustration.

[Y/N] flinched and her eyes grew watery. She couldn't believe that her friend wouldn't even try to understand her, especially after everything she'd been through. "That's where you're wrong. That's not who I am either. That was who my parents wanted me to be."

"You were so insistent on trust! You couldn't even trust me enough to tell me anything until only recently! And yet, you're still with Kuro, who had broken your trust multiple times! That doesn't make sense!"

"Maybe this is why I don't tell you anything. I'm spilling my heart out and here you are, yelling at me," she said. Miku froze and her beautiful eyes widened in horror.

"I just don't want you hurt. You protected me from him, but I can't seem to protect you."

She blinked a few times and her lips curved into a sneer. "I don't need protection."