Head Down

◤forty three◢

"Are you going to continue to ignore your brother?" Youngho asks frustratedly, sighing, clearly annoyed, as Donghyuck comes down the stairs from his room.

"Yeah," Donghyuck simply answers, walking past where Youngho and Jeno were sitting, heading straight to the closet to put on his shoes. "My brother is stupid."

"Donghyuck," Jeno growls lowly, keeping his expressionless eyes on Donghyuck. "He wants space."

"He wants you, but you're too dense to see it," the younger responds casually, trying to keep his emotions at bay.

Normally, he wouldn't speak about Jaemin over what Jeno knows, but Donghyuck knows for a fact that right now, he knows more about Jaemin than his stepbrother.

After their own... Scene in the hallway, Jaemin had come back to him, not Jeno, to talk about everything. About how he doesn't trust Jeno again yet, about how much he loves Jeno, and about how much he's scared Jeno is going to leave him again.

Jeno is a dick sometimes, yeah, Donghyuck knows, has practically grown up next to him, but he's also too kind for his own good. When he wants to be that is. And right now, since Jaemin had blurted out that he needed time before being with Jeno again instead of the truth, Jeno's been avoiding him like the plague.

Donghyuck knows that this isn't good for Jaemin's already one too many long list of insecurities, but it really wasn't his place to say anything explicit to Jeno. If the other keeps avoiding Jaemin during every waking breath, the whole situation is going to blow up bigger than it already has in Jeno's face.

Jeno already broke both their hearts by breaking up the first time; letting his own insecurities feed their way deep into his heart and mind. But he can't let that happen again: not with Jaemin's insecurities this time.

Donghyuck wishes he could just smack Jeno's head upside down and maybe give him a couple more braincells, but that's not how it works and Donghyuck shouldn't be interfering as much as he is, despite this ordeal concerning his best friend and his stepbrother.

It isn't his business, yet at the same time, it's completely his business.

"Donghyuck—"

"Okay you know what?" Donghyuck starts, chuckling condescendingly as he turns around from where he was facing the door. He looks at his dad, the one who had called his name, and points an accusatory finger directly at him. "I'm sick of you interfering."

A bit taken aback, Youngho doesn't let it show on his face. Instead, he steels his facial muscles and remains calm as he lets out his next words.

"I'm your dad, Donghyuck, I have the right to—"

"No!" Donghyuck exclaims, stalking a bit closer to the table so that he could make his presence bigger. "You don't have any right, and you certainly are not my dad anymore."

Even Jeno winces at that. He can't imagine how Youngho feels, being the direct victim of Donghyuck's words.

"Maybe at one point, yeah, you were. When you gave me the world and wanted the best for me. But now? You took away the only person I've ever loved with my whole heart, and you know—" Donghyuck's voice cracks mid sentence, always extremely emotional when he talks about Taeil. It's worse now because the latter is so far away. "I can't even recognize you anymore. You're not my dad, and you haven't been for the past four years so please. Don't think you have a right to pry anymore. To care anymore. To act like my dad anymore.

"I... I told you I wouldn't forgive you if you signed those papers and you... You made your choice very clear that day."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

my precious sunflower,
don't frown like that.
don't scar your beautiful face with such a dark expression.
don't look at the world like it holds all the evil.
don't yell into the wind like it's responsible for all your sorrow.
i know it's hard.
i know you're trying.
and i know you want to cry, but my sweet boy;
you are so strong.
you are so precious.
you are one of a kind donghyuck.
i'll hold your hand, okay sweetheart?
i'll kiss you tears away, okay sunflower?
i'll protect you from the monsters, okay sunshine?
i'll be with you every step of the way.
until the end, lee donghyuck.
and when it gets too dark, too overwhelming, too suffocating,
just remember:
mark lee loves you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"You love me?" Donghyuck asks, panting as he runs up to Mark, yellow letter still clutched in his hand. He doesn't care that he's probably sweating like a madman, that his hair is array, that he's short of breath. All that matters is that he has Mark all alone in front of him, with the letter clasped between his fingers.

"Oh, you already read it?" Mark asks instead, cleverly dodging the younger's question. It's still before classes, and Mark didn't think Donghyuck would read the letter so early in the morning.

"Hyung," Donghyuck calls again, this time a bit quieter. He walks up to Mark, taking tentative steps forward, and looks up into the older boy's eyes as he asks again. "You love me? You really love me?"

Mark's eyes soften at the younger's question, and he can't help himself as he brings a hand up to cup his soft cheek.

Donghyuck's looking at him with such vulnerability, and he's truly, never felt so enthralled with a boy. His heart has never felt this full.

"I love you Donghyuck." He confesses softly, maintaining eye contact. "I really love you."

"Mark Lee," Donghyuck gasps quietly, trying to suppress his smile as he brings a hand up to hold Mark's hand on his cheek. "Oh my God, Mark Lee...

"I really love you too."