Just another lovatic?

{32}

"Go on" I said to him, after he didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Just don't judge or laugh or whatever. It takes a lot of courage to tell you"

"Sean, it's fine. Just tell me. I won't judge"

"I really like you, Demi. You're an amazing person, with an amazing personality and an inspiration to a lot of people. You're beautiful, too. Inside and out. You have a beautiful figure, a beautiful face and a beautiful soul. On top of that, you helped my little sister a lot. I would really like to have the honor of going out with you, of being your boyfriend, of being there for you when you need someone to talk to, of being the person you love and the person you want to spent the rest of your life with. I would love to be able to call you mine and to built a family with you. Now, I know it's weird that I'm saying all of this. We're not dating, we've not talked about anything like that and I don't even know if you like me back. So, why am I telling you this? Because I want to ask you to go out with me. I want to take you out on a date. But I can't. I can't, because I'm not sure if I'm over my last girlfriend. When I asked Kayla what she thought about me and you going out, she told me that she would love for us to be together, but I do have to be sure that I'm done with Petra, my ex. Kayla told me, that I should imagine Petra coming back, as the person she was when we started dating, the person I fell in love with, and that I should be sure that I wouldn't choose her over you. Once I'm sure of that, that's when I know I've moved on. She spoke very wise words, especially for someone who's never been in a relationship. I thought about what she said and started imagining me and you dating and Petra showing up. I imagined having to choose between you, but as much as I wanted to choose you, I couldn't choose anyone. I don't want Petra back, I really don't. But at the same time, I couldn't chose you over her, either. I didn't know what to do. I realized that I probably couldn't choose you over her, because I've never dated you, yet. I want to be with you, but I don't know what's it's like to have you as my girlfriend. I don't know if we're even meant to be together. I realized that I'll never know, if I don't take the chance to ask you out. The problem is still that I'm not sure, and I don't wanna ask you out and then break your heart. I'm just lost as to what I should do. Now, I know you can't really help me with that, but I just thought to let you know that I really like you a lot. I don't know what I expect you to do with this information, but I just had to let it out. I'm sorry" he finished.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't surprised. Where did all of that come from?
He looked at me and I looked at him. I wanted to reply, but I didn't know what to say.

"Wow" I finally said, "I did not expect you to say that"

"Is that a good thing?"

"Yeah, I guess. I'm just kinda speechless right now. I wasn't really prepared for that"

"That's okay. Do you want me to leave now, then?"

"Why would I want you to leave?"

"Cause I just bombarded you with a ton of information and you have to process it. And you probably want some space, without me here"

"Why do you think that?"

"Cause I just... I don't know. I just think so" he looked so scared and vulnerable.

"You're way to insecure for yourself. Why would I want you to leave? You just told me how you feel and you think I'm just gonna sent you away like that?"

We were both quiet for a few minutes. Deep in though.

"Do you hate me now?" he asked.

"Why on earth would I hate you?"

"Cause I placed you in a very uncomfortable situation"

"Is that a reason to hate you? I like you too, Sean. And I would love to go out with you. I don't know why you're so unsure of yourself. I know you've been hurt and you don't want that to happen again, but having a little more confidence in yourself won't hurt you. It'll only make it harder for someone else to break you, again"

"Did you just agree to go on a date with me?" He asked, with hopeful eyes.

"Yes, I did"

"So you wanna go out with me, even though I'm not sure that I'm completely over Petra?"

"I think it'll help you to get over her, by dating again. If I can be the person to help you, then why not? If it works out, that's great. If we're not meant to be, we'll realize in time that it's not working out, but at least we tried. You always regret the chances you didn't take"

"You're smart" he smiled.

"Thank you"

"Do you think we'll work out?"

"I hope so. Look, I really like you and apparently you like me, too. I think that if we just work hard enough for it, it'll be fine. If we really want it, I'm sure we can make it work"

"Can I have the honor of taking you out to dinner, once you're completely better?"

"I would love you to" I smiled.
He smiled back.
This was such a weird way to get asked out on a date, but who cares, right? Let's just hope everything's gonna be okay.

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Next update: Tuesday

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I love you!