Hello everyone who reads this. So I've been going through a lot of depression and mood swing and shit like that causing me to have some major writer's block. I've started about 10 different stories but either scrapped them or just stopped writing them. I'm gonna be really honest right now and spew some of my current depressed thoughts. Also slight trigger warning on my thoughts cuz they're hella dark. There's a little authors note at the bottom so please read that. (Don't worry, it's separated from my thoughts)
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I find it extremely ironic that I write stories and whatnot because I rarely talk anymore. I've always been told to shut up and told that no one wants to hear what I have to say. Sometimes I try to talk and then I say something wrong and feel like I just should shut up, forever. Sometimes I imagine sewing my mouth shut so I can never talk again. I usually think that my writings are just a coping mechanism because I kind of hate myself. I get to pretend I'm someone else with a different life. I can run away from my problems that way, but now I wonder if I write because no one will listen. I'm sure it's a mixture of both. I used to find happiness in writing but lately it's just a chore. I'll have an idea or a scenario and I'll write it down but I just can't find the passion to write right now. I really don't want to fall into a depression spell again but it's really starting to look that way. I'm losing the passion I held for writing and learning and I absolutely love to learn. I've isolated myself again, and I think I'm gonna start losing touch with reality again. I'll get inside my own head and end up making everything worse. Sometimes I start feeling kinda suicidal but I'd never act on it. I've just been feeling pretty shitty on and off a lot lately. There's a lot more going on in my head but this is the only thing that actually pertains to my writing.
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I don't want to say I'm going on a hiatus but I definitely haven't written for this book in awhile due to said issues. So I'm trying to keep writing for this book but my mind's a bit of a mess right now which is affecting my ability to write well and just write in general. I will update but it may be awhile because I want to write the best I can for you guys and for myself. I wrote this book while I was in a certain headspace so I may need to get back into that headspace before I can write more for this book again. So I guess this is a sort of hiatus but I am working on my personal issues so I can write again. If anything changes I will make another update probably like this. Hopefully you'll understand. Thank you and I hope you guys are doing better than I am ❤️
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Bakugo x male reader
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