SUNFLOWER BABY

xvi. ode to my mother

there is so much to say
the good
the bad
the broken parts
of both of us
so I'm not sure
exactly where
to start

But I remember
being young
and feeling like
I could tell her
everything

And at some point
I lost that
there were times
when she could've
reacted better
and me
being young
I took everything
so personally

But I'm older now
and I've forgiven her
for all the damage
she caused me

And I hope
she's forgiven me
for all the rage
I held inside me
for so long

But I remember
all the conversations
we've had
about all anything
and everything
conversations
that have made me
feel so totally
seen

And I remember
all the tears
we've cried
all the laughter
we've shared
all the stories
we have

The time
her car broke down
and we sat
and talked
and laughed
for hours
we had the time
of our lives
just simply
being
with one another

And I remember
all the love
she has shown me
the same love
that led me
to the God
that I love

And how could I not
love my mother?

The way she smiles
so wide when she's
with me,
despite the chip
in her tooth
that she's so
insecure
about

The way she looks away
when she cries
because a part of her
still wants
so badly
to be strong
for her kids

The way she sings
quietly,
like she's
hesitant
to be heard
in the most
vulnerable
of ways

The way she smiles
when I ask
for something
because she loves
doing things
for her children
and she knows
that I find it hard
to ask for things

Ode to my mother
in all her imperfections
her strengths
and her weaknesses
I am writing
this poem
because I love her