One. I didn't mean to
break your heart,
I've broken plates and promises
and my own heart
countless times,
but your heart was meant
to be held gently by someone
who will love you
better than I ever could.
Two. I'm still sick,
sick in that I'm drowning
in guilt after every bite
and suddenly 207 calories
of peanut butter crackers
is enough to make me
want to rip the flesh
off of my own body
and every time you
skip a meal, suddenly
I gain the weight you lose.
Three. I can't help but want
to fix your problems for you,
you don't deserve to feel
that pain you're drowning in,
and I wish I could show you
that there's more to life than
crushing emptiness,
but that's not for me to tell you,
not after I broke your heart.
Four. A part of me has
already moved on.
I fall so fast and hard,
but I can cut myself off
at any time,
and it appears that I've
done the same
with you, because I
don't really love you,
nor anymore, but
Five. I still miss you.
I don't deserve to hear your voice,
but I can't help but want to
hear it every day.
I miss pictures of your smile
and good morning texts
and everything about the
people we used to be
when we were together,
but we're not those people anymore,
I'm not in love anymore.
Six. I don't know
if I want you to read this.
I never meant to make you cry,
but I know that I did.
I hope I never do it again,
and if that means I never hear from you,
so be it.
It will all have been worth it
if you're happy.
I hope you know that's all
I ever wanted for you.
YOU ARE READING
SUNFLOWER BABY
Poetry"but we kept secrets from time, and I saw constellations in your smile . . . " [[ a series of poems ]]
