Drive ( Jasie Fanfic )

Overanalyze Again .

Jade's POV

I'm currently avoiding Josie right now hiding in the walk in staring at the cooler. Even tho I've been on human blood bags since I got back . I can't help but get urges still and Dr.S said it's gonna take time but the problem is I can't tell him when they are happening . He wouldn't let me around his daughter he trusts me but I don't trust me . I'm so wrapped up in thought I didn't hear the door open .

" Okay babe what's wrong . I tried to let you deal with it but when you start avoiding me all together that's when I draw a line. Tell me please . "

" It's embarrassing . Also I'm kind of ashamed to admit it ."

" Babe I promise I will be here to help you with whatever you need just tell me ."

" The reason I've been avoiding you is because I'm having hard time controlling myself around you especially when we are alone and we can't keep our hands to ourselves okay. I'm ashamed because when I'm kissing you I shouldn't be thinking about ripping your throat out even if it's just a flash of a thought
then it's all I start to think about . Your intoxicating to me in a great way and also a really bad way . Your the only thing I truly care about and if i hurt you I wouldn't be able to live with myself . I just don't know what to do I've read everything I can and nothing's working . "

" Not necessarily you haven't read everything especially my stepfather's diaries. Long story short Stephan my Mom's husband that died was the first ripper . Babe if I had known it was getting this bad I could have helped you . We can go up to Stephan's room it's actually still here since it was there house once my father didn't feel right making it a dorm so it's kinda my own personal sceret magic library nobody else knows that it's here. I spell the door so no one but me can see it . If you want can come with me and I promise we will figure it out ."

" I'm sorry for avoiding you it was childish from now on we will figure it out together I won't run from my problems anymore when I know your gonna be there to help me while I get through them . I'm sorry really am."

" It's okay babe I'm not gonna be mad you were just put in my well-being and safety first"

" Because I love you."

" I love you too now let's go get reading and hopefully figure out a solution"

" Lead the way Saltzmen "

We had been in Josie's little hidden library for a couple hours now when came across something thing one of Stefan's journal he wrote "today was a hard day but in order to defeat the Originals I needed to feed on human blood from now on I'm just not as strong when I drink animal blood  .  I don't trust myself , Elena shes foolish but brave , she trusts's me enough to take just a few drops a day and I love her too much to ever hurt her . So a few drops became a little more and more until i built up a tolerance for small amounts of blood nothing major. Elena trusted that the fact I loved her so much would be the key at keeping the ripper at bay and she was right she was the only person I ever fed on that I didn't kill  . But at least now I don't have to worry about drinking the entire stash of blood bags when I get an urge ....." and just as I get done reading the last sentence I feel arms wrap around my waist and she puts her head on my shoulder ..

"Find anything useful because all's I found was angst filled pages about Hope's father "

" I found something but I don't feel like putting you in a situation that is dangerous because it is. Josie what this is saying is that he fed on his ex girlfriend Elena ... even tho it was only a few drops every day it is still dangerous . "