The Gods of Song and Poetry

Chapter 37 - Necessary

Chapter 37 - Necessary

Kelly reached for the doorknob, but I spun her around, pushed her against the door, and kissed her hard. I didn't stop kissing her as we burst into the kitchen. We had a few precious hours alone before her grandparents would take her away from me and deliver her to her dad's house. She would be staying there for a week, save Christmas day. For that one day she was allowed to spend time in what was supposed to be her own house, with the woman who had the legal right to call Kelly her daughter.

Kelly was still wearing my leather jacket. I stripped it off of her, throwing it on the floor by my abandoned backpack. I grabbed her face and kissed her aggressively, claiming my territory.

I was feeling so many things all at once I couldn't keep them straight. I felt the high of a successful performance and a cheering audience just a short time ago at the talent show. I felt love for Kelly, and an aching sort of sadness knowing she would be ripped away from me for over a week. I felt anger at her mother, the faceless woman I had never met, and jealousy that she got to see Kelly on Christmas, but I didn't.

I yanked off Kelly's hoodie from the bottom, so it landed on the floor inside out. As soon as it was off, she moved to keep kissing me, but before she connected I lifted up her t-shirt to bring it over her head. Finally our lips came back into contact.

"I love you, Kelly," I gasped as we made our way farther into the kitchen. I didn't give her a chance to answer because I attacked her mouth again, taking her head in my hands like I was afraid she might try to escape. With conviction, I thought the words again, but added to them. "I love you, Kelly, and I will never abandon you. I will never give you up like your bitch of a mother did. She must not love you like I do. She doesn't deserve you. I would never cast you away like that."

I undid her jeans and pushed them down to mid thigh, then went back to kissing her madly. I grabbed her butt cheek with one hand and pulled her into me, while my other hand was on the back of her head, pressing her face into mine. I couldn't get close enough to her. She seemed to know that I needed control, and she gave it to me.

* * *

An hour or so later we lay in bed together, alternating between kissing softly and just holding each other. I ran my fingers slowly through her hair as we cuddled, trying to say, "I love you," with every touch.

"Are you okay, Ani?" Kelly asked me softly.

"Yeah," I pulled back to look at her beautiful amber eyes. Flecks of gold shone in them, but it was her pupils that drew my attention. "Why? Am I doing something wrong?"

"No! You're just...different, today. You went from being very...forceful, to being almost sad."

"Was it bad? Did you not like it?"

"It was pretty incredible, actually, having you want me like that. It made me feel so...necessary. If that's the kind of send off I get, I need to leave more often." When she saw I didn't smile at her joke, she looked worried. "I'm just trying to read you right now, Ani, and I can't."

"I'm just being silly, I guess. I feel like I only have a short time left to make sure you don't forget how much I love you. My insecurities are showing."

"Ani!" She brought both hands up to frame my face and continued to stare into my eyes. "I swear to you, I will never forget how much you love me. 'Cogito ergo sum' and 'Ani loves me' are the two things in this world I can know for certain."

I had to struggle through my memories of our conversations about philosophy to get the reference. I gave her a small smile. "I'm not sure DesCartes would approve." Then, with more seriousness, "I love it when you show off how smart you are."