Chapter fifteen

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Kurt was waiting outside the hospital in his car, doing homework as everyday for the past month since Blaine's accident. He'd go to the hospital right after school and he'd spend all evening doing homework and studying in the car until he saw Blaine's parents leave, then he'd go in and sneak inside Blaine's room. He would just tell him about how he felt or the news in the Glee club. 

Sam visited Blaine everyday while the doctors were still there and then he told how was Blaine when he see him the next day. Blaine's father didn't let Kurt in, but everyone else was allowed. However, Kurt couldn't stay without seeing Blaine so he decided to wait until everyone left to sneak in.

Sam told him the doctors don't think Blaine will wake up any time soon, but he's stable which apparently is something good.

"Hi babe" Kurt greeted Blaine, waiting for an answer he knew wouldn't happen "I really miss you" he said while sitting on the chair next to the bed.

"Your dad still doesn't let me see you, but I don't care, I won't leave you alone. Not now that you need me" he said wiping the tears out of his face "actually, it might be the other way round, I'm the one who needs you" he took the other boy's cold hands.

"I need you to wake up and hold me tight and tell me you love me. I miss hearing your voice and your laugh" he made a small pause "God, I really miss your laugh" he was smiling and crying at the same time, he was remembering that day when Blaine wanted to cook for Kurt but they were playing around like little kids and the cookie dough Blaine had prepared leaped all over the kitchen and they both couldn't help but laugh like never before. 

Kurt stayed there for another thirty minutes telling Blaine everything that had happened -not much though- until the time when the nurses come to check on Blaine and he had to leave.

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Kurt was feeling more hopeless as the days went by, Blaine was still in coma and no one knew when he'll wake up -or if he would wake up- and honestly he was tired of having to hide. He just wanted to visit Blaine as if it wasn't forbidden. He hadn't slept in weeks now, not because he couldn't sleep but because he didn't want to. Every time he fell asleep he saw Blaine and when he woke up he realized he wasn't there, or worse, he dreamed about receiving a call from Sam or Mr. Schue telling him Blaine had passed away, that was the worst nightmare he could have and lately it was everything he saw when he closed his eyes.

But this time he was too tired to have control over his body, he slowly fell asleep in the car while waiting. But he didn't have a bad dream, actually it was the opposite, he remembered a good memory, them singing to Come what may when they barely knew each other, it was the first of many movies they'd watched together sitting on that couch.

"Kurt? Kurt wake up!" Rachel was knocking on the car window and she woke Kurt up "Why the hell are you sleeping in your car?"

"Rachel hi. I- I didn't want to fall asleep" he said, no one knew he was sneaking in after they left.

"But why are you here?" she stopped "Wait are you seeing Blaine when we leave?" she asked looking kinda confused.

"Yeah" Kurt answered shyly "I can't stand how you all can visit him and I am basically banned" his voice sounded mad but his face seemed sad.

"How long have you been doing that?" 

"Since the second week. I noticed there are about 45 minutes between his parents leave and the nurses check on him again" he explained.

"I'm sorry Kurt, I didn't realize how hard this must be for you. But please be careful, I don't know what would his father do if he found out" she was truly worried about it.

"Thank you Rachel, I should go inside now" they hugged as a goodbye and Kurt walked towards the hospital door.

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"I've been thinking a lot lately, the house feels really lonely, like it used to be. You brought light to my life, I've always lived in the shadows but when I was with you it didn't feel like that anymore. You made me have dreams again" he looked at Blaine, he looked so calm yet still so full of life, with his bushy-hair and his long black eyelashes "That's why I've decided to audition for NYADA, and I've decided to steal some of your talent and sing your song, the one you sang for your Glee club audition" he smiled, but it was a sad one "I think  the best way to get into that school is being myself, my real me, and the best way to do that is if I get all my emotions show up"

"Blaine, I don't know what will happen, with you or with me, but I know I'll be forever grateful of everything you've done for me. Even when you didn't know you were saving me, you did, you saved me. And no matter what, no matter how many months or even years I have to wait to have you back, I will wait. I will wait for you forever if I have to, because-" his voice cracked for a second and he started crying "because you're the love of my life."

He wanted Blaine to be proud of him, he knew Blaine would tell him to keep living even if he wasn't really there to see him, and Kurt wasn't willing to let Blaine down. He'll sing Blaine's song, and he'll nail his audition, he'll make all his dreams true. And that would be thanks to Blaine. And if they were lucky enough, they'd be together through it all. 

Then Kurt stood up, he kissed Blaine's forehead and walked out of the room.

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