what a strange name

ch.27(tw)

Pov. Natasha
I'm sitting in the kitchen and aria walks in and sits at the counter. "Morning," I say, putting a plate in front of her. "It sure is.." she says, still half asleep.

She lays her head down and some kind of black mass begins to form around her. I tap her on the shoulder. She looks up and sees the black mass. It starts retreating into her.

"Sorry, I'm just really tired."  She says. "Well, look at it this way, at least you were able to get up out of bed." I say, putting eggs and bacon on her plate.

"Thanks," she says. At least she can still eat. After breakfast, I ask her if she wants to go anywhere. "Um, I saved up some money so I could get some clothes. I just need a ride." She says.

"You don't need to spend your own money, I'll get you clothes." I say. "Thanks. When I had to go to the boys home I could only pack like 3 shirts and jeans" she says.

"Can I join? I don't have any midgaurdian clothes that suit my other form." Loki says, walking in from nowhere. "That would be fun. Right mom?" Aria says. "Sure, but you're like 2000 years old you have to buy your own clothes." I say.

"Wonderful! I will be ready momentarily." He says, disappearing. "Guess I'll get ready then." Aria says, putting her plate in the sink and going to her room. She recovered fast. That's good.

Pov. Aria
It ended up being that it was me, Peter, Loki, and Wade all going to the mall together. I haven't talked to wade in a while.

The first store we go into is hottopic, which was my idea. I saw a cute little harry potter themed backpack purse. I got that for mj.

Loki went into the back to try on some jeans and tee shirts. When they walked out, they were looked like a girl? "looks cool, but what's up with the uh... y'know?" I ask.

"I am what you mid guardians call gender fluid. My gender can change at any time." He says. "Cool" I say. "you should try on this hoodie I found." Peter says, handing her a hoodie with a line art of his helmet on it.

I ended up getting the back pack, matching bracelets for me and mj, a few.mcr shirts, some p!atd shirts,  and a wallet chain.

After hottopic we went to old navy. All I got there was a pair of jeans that I really liked. No one else got any thing, but loki found a turtle neck. She got one in each color.

The next store we go to is one I haven't seen before. It's almost like a thrift shop, but its all home made shirts and clothes. I found a shirt that said, "be gay, do crime" and I had to get it

Loki got a short that said "gender" over a glass of water. It was kinda funny. Peter got star wars shirts for him and wade, and wade found a bnha shirt.

It was a pretty successful trip, all in all.

(time skip to around 12:30 at night) (this is where the tw starts)

I'm sitting alone in my room, on the floor. I'm front of me is everything deadly I own. Razor blades, pills, knives, and a sheet of paper. My goodbyes.

I sit there, silently, for much longer that I expected to. I don't know if its because there is a chance mj is alive, or if there are to many choices.

I hear a knock at my door. I pick up everything and push it under the bed as fast as I can. I stand up and open the door.

"Oh! Sorry I was looking for the bathroom, I swear this place changes every week." In front of me is a boy, around 19 maybe 20, with dirtly blonde hair and blue eyes. I've never met him before.

"um, who are you?" I ask. "oh! Right! We haven't meet yet, I'm clint but you probably know me as hawkeye." He says, holding out his hand for me to shake.

"I'm aria, you probably know me as venom." I say, shaking his hand. "cool, um, what up with your shirt?" He says, pointing at my sleeve.

"oh that? That's just from patrol, I havnt had a chance to change my shirt yet." I say, making up a lie as fast as I can. Luckily he believes me and walks away.

I close my door and get everything back out from under my bed. I sit down on the floor and remeber something mj told me.

"when you're sitting in front of everything deadly that you own and revising your goodbyes, there's to mych darkness to see any thing else. It's hard to reach for the bed sheets instead of the noose."

That was one of the last times I spoke to mj in person. The lat she she may have ever said to me was "its hard to reach for the bed sheeets instead of the noose" I say, repeating her.

I pick up everything and put it all away, everything but the blades. I sit on the bed and pull up my sleeves.

I put the blade to my skin and drag it across. The rush of natural pain killers and blood feel better than they ever have. I keep going, each one getting deeper.

When I stop, I stand up to put the blades away, and I can't stand up. I take the first aid kit from my night stand and bondage my arms. I put a few layers on so it would bleed through.

I put the blades in with the rest of the first aid kit and put it back in the drawer. At this point I start feeling really weak. I look at the time and it's 1:33 I'm the morning.

I decide to go to bed. After all, being asleep is better than being alive. At least that's what I hope. I miss mj so much, its hard to sleep with out the good night texts we always send before we go to bed.

I didn't realize how much she impacted everything I did. I should talk to her. I'll try to visit her tomorrow. If she is still alive.

(time skip to the next day because I can)

After getting dressed, eating breakfast, and letting mom know that I'm heading out, I make my way to the hospital.

"I'm looking for Mary Jane Watson."  I say. "she's been moved to room 206" the receptionist says. "thank you!" I say, walking towards mjs room.

When I get there, I open the door and she lights up. "aria!" She almost shouts. "mj!" I say, running over to her bed side.

We talk for hours, about every thing. We talk about how much we've missed each other, how life has been, I learned that she gets realesed today. Then she brings up something I don't expect.

"have you ever thought that the world would be better off without you?" She says. "but the only reason you stay alive is because of one person, and how much they would miss you. And if they went with you, on there own terms, then you would have no reason not to?" She asks.

"mj?" I ask. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that." She says. "no, I'm glad you did. I have an idea." I say. "what kind of idea?" She asks.

A/n any of y'all ever seen heathers? This has nothing to do with the story but I think some of you might like it. Also I found out that I'm going to essentially be in isolation at home for no good reason. I'm not even sick, my mom is just scared. Hey some water, a snack, and a stuffed animal and go to sleep. -your gay emo dad