11/21/19
hahaha what the fuck OH MY GODDDDDDD IVE NEVER BEEN SO FUCKING MAD
I'M acting like a fucking stranger? IM NOT THAT TYPE. IM NOT THAT TYPE? WHAT THE FUCK. IM NOT THAT TYPE EXCEPT FOR WHEN HE KISSES MY NECK AND WE FUCK? IVE MADE HIM A WRECK?
oh my fucking god
I ONLY EVER WANNA FUCK HIM AFTER MIDNIGHT. IM ASHAMED OF HIM? FUCKING GOLD.
MY EMOTIONS SHUT DOWN WHEN HE BEGS FOR MORE. LOL FUCK. HES DESPERATELY ALL. MINE. FUCKING LUKE HEMMINGS.
I. PUT HIM. THROUGH. THE GODDAMN RINGER. I NEVER SHOW MY FUCKING EMOTIONS?
I TRUSTED HIM ENOUGH TO SLEEP WITH HIM IVE NEVER FUCKING SLEPT WITH A GUY BEFORE I WAS MORE FUCKING VULNERABLE WJTH HIM THAN I EVER HAVE BEEN WITH ANYONE. FUCK.
i only want to love him after midnight.
that part stung.
it's so much more than sex and hiding hickeys and pretending we're just friends the day after.
ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN HOLDING HANDS UNDER THE COVERS AND KISSING HUS FOREHEAD BEFORE I LEAVE IN THE MORNING. IM GOJNG TO KILL MYSELF.
WHY I WONT SHOW MYSELF TO HIM? FUCK.
PHYSICALLY IM HERE BUT EMOTIONALLY IM FAR FROM HIM? OPPOSITE CORNERS. IF THE FUCKING WORLD.
ITS UNFAIR? UNFAIR. ITS UNFAIR TO YOU? ITS UNFAIR THAT I HAD TO READ THIS.
but he loves me more than anything.
I'm literally fucking dizzy from this oh my fucking GOD. fuck. what the fuck. oh my god.
YOU ARE READING
ugh → l.h ⋆ a.i
Fanfiction⤷ you're the only thing that's going on in my mind. [completed] → content warning: homophobia depression
