*discontinued*( For Now) Reflecting Hellfire || Avengers

VI

A/N 'this' means she's thinking.

She was my monster under the bed except she lived out in the open for everyone to see. She was a devil in angels clothing. 

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Sargent's POV

I've been excited all day and I don't know why the only thing different is Breanna is training with me today. I've trained the Avengers for fuck's sake. Every time I think of her being near me my heart rate picks up. 

'You love her you idiot' 

I've been to battle, I've killed more then id like to count. Why does one girl that I might have a tiny minuscule crush on change my whole day? She's stunning her smile could light up a war zone. Her laughs make me forget about all the problems in the world. She smells of freshly cut lavender and sounds like my favorite poet, gentle, and caring. Her eyes are the deepest shade of chocolate brown with specs of gold that shine when shes happy. She has curly locks anyone would kill to have. Her personality is like no other, She's PERFECT. 

I know now that it's not a tiny minuscule crush, I love her. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I've been in the gym warming up waiting for Breanna to show up. I hear the door open but decide not to look because I don't want to come out as desperate. 'You are desperate' she walls into the room and is wearing skin-tight leggings and a sports bar that makes her chest stand out 'don't stare'  i swear her body could make any female turn gay. 

"Hey, so what are we starting with?" Breanna asks with childlike curiosity.

"Your gonna stretch then run a mile on the treadmill," I respond not looking at her for fear of staring at her perfection.

"How is running part of the training?" 

"If you cant keep up with your opponent you're dead." Any trace of amusement gone, I don't know what I'd do if I lost her, and if I did it'd be my fault for not training her correctly. 

"I think I can keep up with you," she says teasingly.

"All right hot stuff, why don't we go on the mat and the first person to pin the other down wins," I smirk, she doesn't know who she just challenged. We walk over to the mat and get in fighting stances, I can tell she hasn't been trained how to properly fight because shes leaving her sides unprotected and her legs are in a weak stance. She makes the first move and I dodge. She steps back and goes to hit again I grab her arm and flip her to the ground. She gets back up and comes at me again, this time she hits me in the side but I've learned to deal with pain. She smirks and starts to get cocky. I take this time to hit her on her side and she falls to the ground I get on top of her and pin her down, any trace of my love for her gone at this moment I was back in the mindset of war. I punch her again. this is the mindset that lets me kill my opponents. This is my assassin mind taking over I am a cold calculated killer at this moment. I could've knocked her out, I could've done worse I could've killed her. But I look down at her and the fear in her eyes and I realize she's the one I love. Everything in the background fades nothing left but her. Her perfect face with the terrified look that I put there, her chest rising and falling out of exhaustion and fear. But deep in her eyes, I see an emotion that has never been shown to me, It was love, she loved me. 

I back away from her terrified. I just hit someone I learned I loved. she had a forming bruise on her side and face, her brow was bleeding, and it made me feel like a monster. I can't be loved, I've hurt her. What if I kill her because I'm having a flashback? This is real life, I cant just restart because I fucked up. "I'm so sorry," I run out of the room before I can let down my facade that I've worked so hard to keep. 

Everything comes back to me all the noise around me the A/C, the people working in their offices, the noise of New York City. My mind is traveling 100 miles per hour and I can't stop it.   

I run and run not knowing where my legs are taking me. 'stop running from your problems she loves you'  I am full-on sprinting down the hallways of the Avengers tower, probably looking like a mess. I see Captian walking down the hallway in workout clothes heading for the gym but at this moment I don't care, I wanted to go somewhere quiet and just wallow in my own self-pity. Apparently Steve had different plans because as soon as he saw me, he grabbed me,  stopping me in my sprint leading to who the hell knows. 

"Fionn what's wrong I thought you were supposed to be training Breanna?" he asked worry evident on his face.

I fight back "I don't want to talk about." 

"Sargent, this is an order stop and let me know what is happening." He demands concerned but still stern.

"Cap, I'm afraid that if I tell you I'll lose this internal battle of being cold, of not caring," I say truly terrified of dropping the cold and collected act I have kept for so long. I've always been told if you want to be respected you need to speak up and not care about what others say. To be respected you gotta be the smartest and strongest in the room. To be strong you must give up all weaknesses and everything that makes you human. 

But I am human, I am not a robot. I can't run through life not falling in love, not caring. I am a soldier but I am only human. 

At this thought, I fully break. I break down in front of my fellow soldier and I cry. I cry for the first time since I was 7. I was no longer a cold calculated killer I was a scared girl.