The Kids From Yesterday

~9~

I had stopped crying and I was just watching the never changing ceiling. everything had become a hazy shade of grey since he had started going out, and now, it only seemed darker. I felt sad. I felt cold. I felt betrayed. I felt empty. I felt hurt. and above all, I felt alone. I felt so alone laying on that couch. I knew Frank was just in the other room. I could go hold him until he woke up. I could kiss him and have him to myself without him getting mad at me. and thats what I did. I hate feeling alone. I was alone the whole time he was out. so I decided, why continue to feel alone when he was just laying in the other room. 

I walked as quietly as I could until I reached the room we once shared. he only took up his half of the bed. I crept over and got under the blankets.

I wrapped my arms around him and cuddled close to him. I planted a kiss on his cheek. I was met with salty, damp skin. he'd been crying. I hated being so cold to him. it hurt me but I had to get him to understand that he hurt me.

~ 

the more time we spent together, the better I felt. he was more open with me and it was like the old days. he still didn't tell me where he was when he was out all night. he said, 

"I just can't tell you Gee. it would put us both in danger and I don't want you getting hurt." 

of course I didn't understand what that meant but I decided to stop prying. we were getting close again and that fog that seemed to cloud my vision had lifted and everything was colorful again. I could see clearly.

~

"d'you wanna go to the park?" I looked over at Frank.

"why? whats at the park?" he looked over the kitchen counter at me. 

I shrugged. "I dunno." 

he looked back at what he was doing. "its getting dark Gee." 

I nodded and looked out the window. the sun was setting and the sky had become a nice shade of violet. "yeah, I suppose it is. could we go out for a drive then?" I looked back at him. "after dinner?"

he smiled. "sure. we can go out for a drive. is there anywhere in particular that you wanna go?" 

I bit my lip. "I kinda wanted to go to the Hollywood sign, but like the hill, and sit and watch the city."

he turned off the stove and looked back at me. "Hollywood is a bit far, don't you think?"

I shrugged. "I guess. its only a 30 minute drive though, its not that far."

Frank chuckled and shook his head slightly. "come get dinner before it gets cold.

he had made spaghetti and not just because its a really generic food and the author didn't know what else to put because they're suffering from writers block but because its a really generic food and the author didn't know what else to put because they're suffering from writers block. we ate in silence and I washed the dishes. I went up into our room and laid on the bed. a few minutes passed but then Frank walked in with his keys in one hand and sweatshirt in the other. 

"are we not going?" he asked from the doorway. 

I sat up. "oh I thought you didn't want to go." 

he walked over and sat next to me. "I didn't say I didn't want to go, I said, and I quote, 'come get dinner.'" I looked at the floor. "is something wrong?" 

I shook my head. "no, I just- I just miss the way it used to be, before the whole situation." I looked over at him.

"I do too, I really do. if I could go back, I would. I would go back and fix everything but I can't go back. I can't change what I've done. its in the past now Gerard. lets try to live in the now and stop dwelling on the past." he grabbed my hand and brushed his thumb over my knuckles. 

my gaze followed his hand. "yeah, I guess you're right. what happened, happened and all we can do now is move on."

he smiled softly. "exactly." I looked up at him. "do you still want to go watch the city?" I nodded. "atta boy." he kissed the top of my head. "c'mon, i'll drive."

I stood up and grabbed my jacket off the chair in the corner of the room. "I wasn't gonna drive anyway. it would've been you whether you liked it or not." I put the jacket on and walked with him.

the car ride was short. there wasn't any traffic. Frank parked in the observatory parking lot and put on his jacket.

"this isn't it" I followed his lead and stepped out of the car. 

he walked over to the front of the car and stretched. "sure it is. we just have to hike a little." 

I closed the car door and walked over to him. "we can't drive?" 

he looked up at me and smiled. "oh I'm sure we can but whats the fun in that?" he grabbed my hand and started walking down the trail.

the walk wasn't so bad. 

we got to the sign and Frank covered my eyes. "Frank c'mon just let me see it." I giggled. 

"okay hold on." he led me to a spot he deemed adequate and kissed behind my ear. shivers ran up my spine and I smiled. "ready?"

"Frank just let me see it" I began to pry his hands away but he just dropped them to my waist. my eyes adjusted to the little lights scattered in front of me and my breath escaped my chest. "I-" I couldn't come up with any words. "its beautiful." 

"not as beautiful as you" Frank softly kissed my neck. I scoffed but said nothing else. i tilted my neck to the side to give him more room. he got the idea and started planting soft, hot kisses all over my neck. 

he started to get a bit excited and began to grind on me as his hands found their way onto my belt buckle. I gasped and my head shot up. "Frank we are not fucking here!" I whisper shouted. I didn't know if there was anyone else around or not.

Frank didn't seem to care. "why not?" he moved to stand in front of me and continued kissing my jaw. one hand rested on my belt and the other held my neck.

I looked around. "there could be people."

he grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes with the most innocent look he could pull out of his ass at that moment. "and they can watch."