8 Letters | Itaru Chigasaki

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warning: some angst

"If all it is is eight letterswhy is it so hard to say?"

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"If all it is is eight letters
why is it so hard to say?"

___

Dating Itaru Chigasaki felt like an act. At least that's what [Name] [Last Name] felt. Dating the actor was a rollercoaster ride, one that's not fun at all for her.

In all honestly she felt confused. Was she dating the real, gamer geek Itaru? Was he telling the truth when a coworker asked about you two? Was that just for show?

You know me the best
You know my worst, see me hurt, but you don't judge
That, right there, is the scariest feeling.

There were many times where she wanted to end the relationship but she didn't. Itaru was her person. The one she'd run to whenever she needed anything. Whenever she needed support. He was always there for her.

Opening and closing up again
I've been hurt so I don't trust
Now here we are, staring at the ceiling

Itaru Chigasaki was her person. Someone who was with her through downs and ups. When she was sobbing over something so shallow. He was there to comfort her through and through.

Dating him felt like a warm blanket wrapped around you as you sleep through another cold winter night. It was everything [Name] asked for.

I've said those words before but it was a lie
And you deserve to hear them a thousand times

Dating him was everything she could've asked for. She looked forward to afternoons where Itaru would take her home in his car and kiss her goodnight.

If all it is is eight letters
Why is it so hard to say?

She knows she said it before countless times. It was just eight letters after all. Why was she afraid to speak now?

If all it is is eight letters
Why am I in my own way?

[Name] tossed and turned in her bed. Her bed felt empty and incomplete. There was a cold spot on the right side of the bed. The side where Itaru sleeps whenever he comes over.

Why do I pull you close
And then ask you for space

[Name] felt guilty. [Name] felt jealous. [Name] felt immature. She knew dating Itaru would be difficult. She knew that his gaming habits may or may not become a problem later on in their relationship, yet she went in headfirst without thinking straight.

If all it is is eight letters
Why is it so hard to say?

It was just eight letters. it was only eight letters but she didn't know how to tell it to Itaru.

When I close my eyes
It's you there in my mind

[Name] shook her head and cleared out these thoughts. Maybe she'll sleep alone tonight.

___

Itaru Chigasaki felt guilty and he didn't know why. He blamed himself. His kill count was suffering. His ranking hit an all time low. His combos weren't even proper combos!

He decided to call it a night. Maybe he'll get some sleep tonight. He took off his little fringe ponytail as he went to lay down in his bunk. Somehow something felt wrong. As if things were incomplete.

He checked his phone and on his notification were text messages and missed calls from [Name]. He could only mutter a single word at the moment.

"Shit."

Itaru hurriedly got up and wore his jacket. He literally didn't care anymore if anyone saw him dressed like that in the middle of the night. He grabbed his car keys as he went to text [Name].

Today was supposed to be their at home dinner date at [Name]'s apartment. He texted [Name] a quick "I'm coming over." as he entered his car and strapped on the seatbelt.

His midnight drive lasted around 5 minutes. It was the fastest he could go. If possible he would've floored the pedal. He just couldn't forgive himself for forgetting the date.

Itaru arrived at [Name]'s apartment. He knocked once, he knocked twice. There was no response. He decided to try giving [Name] a call.

[Name] picked up after two rings. Her voice was all groggy when she spoke.

"You have your spare key, use it. I don't wanna get up." [Name] said and then hung up. Itaru felt silly. Of course he has a spare key.

He went back to his car to get the spare key that was stored in a hidden compartment. He then used the said key to open her apartment.

On the table was a Itaru's favorite food, [Name]'s home cooking. His favorite delivery pizza was nothing compared to something his beloved [Name] made with love and effort for him, and only for him.

Itaru diverted his attention to something else more important than the food that was left on the table. It was the door to [Name]'s room. In all honestly he felt afraid and ashamed.

Itaru slowly opened the door to her room. She was laying there, hugging a plushie he gave her for their 4th month of being together. It was a cute plushie of Itaru's best girl that reminded him of [Name]. A limited edition one, of course.

Itaru stared at the sleeping girl. She looked so peaceful and serene. He suddenly felt very lucky to have a girlfriend like [Name]. He could only sigh. She was already asleep.

Itaru knelt beside the bed and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Maybe he'll come back tomorrow to apologize.

He was about to leave when a hand grabbed his wrist.

"Stay here." [Name] said sleepily. "I miss you..." She added.

"[Name]..." Itaru trailed off.

"I'm sorry." Itaru sincerely apologized. [Name] smiled and shook her head,

"Don't worry, I know you by now." She said with a smile. "I hope you know you're damn lucky." [Name] added.

Itaru could only smile too. [Name] felt the right side of the bed dip down. She softly smiled as she felt Itaru lay beside her.

"I am lucky." Itaru confirmed with a cheeky smile. "I have you."

[Name] shrugged, "Fair point but you're wrong." She said as she snuggled closer into Itaru.

"You're lucky because I love you."

If all it is is eight letters

___

8 Letters
Why Don't We

___
please have this messy Itaru
kinda angsty fic while I try
to write requests
though I am still kinda sick ^.^

Take care everyone!
Take care of yourself and
the people around you too!

unedited*

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