A Silver Lining

Chapter 21: Damaged

Hey cherries🍒 I'm back with a new chapter:) Let's see what's happening with Lola's condition shall we;) ⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ ⚠️ ENJOYYY!

I wake up in Ethan's room on his bed but he's nowhere to be seen. "Ethan?" I call out but there's no answer. I slowly slip out of bed and look down and see I'm wearing a black nightgown.

I walk in the closet and see if he's in there. Nothing. I walk into the bathroom and see that he isn't in there either. I scream in horror when I see my reflection in the mirror. "Oh my god..." I murmur and tears cloud my vision.

In my reflection I'm covered in blood from head to toe. I turn my head to the bathtub and see that it's filled with blood. I scream and look at myself in the mirror again. It's gone. The blood is all gone. How?

I look back over at the tub and see that all the blood is pouring out. "No no no no" I mutter and skid across the bathroom to find some towels. I grab as much towels as possible in my shaking arms.

The blood swirls around, splashing all over the walls and on the floor. I start to cry as I pile all of the towels trying to collect all of the blood but it's not working. "ETHAN!" I sob but there is still no answer.

When I think I see something in the blood I stop what I'm doing and lean over the tub to see what it is. It's a person, I'm certain of it. I lean more forward on my knees to get a better view.

I see a face and I squint my eyes to try and make it out. Daniel. It's Daniel. I cry and reach in trying to get a hold of him. It's useless I can't do it. "ETHAN!" I shout crying my eyes out. Where is he?

All of a sudden Daniel's hand comes out and I scream in fear when he grabs my neck. I suck in a breath with wide eyes and scratch his arm trying to make him stop but he won't. His grip tightens around me and the tears keep pouring down my face.

Daniel's body fully comes out of the blood and my arms go limp at my sides at the site in front of me. He has a knife in his throat and his head is bleeding. He's looking at me with cold eyes. There is no emotion in his face. He's going to kill me. With his other arm he takes the knife out and lunges at me.

I scream as I wake up from that nightmare. I'm sweating everywhere. I pant as I look around and realise I'm still in the emergency room.

I'm alive. I lived. God saved my soul. I cry as I remember the nightmare I just had. It felt so real. Everything about that nightmare makes me want to vomit. My sobs get louder and I shake uncontrollably trying to catch my breath.

The door opens and Trish walks in with a neutral face. She's not fazed at all by my crying. She grabs a chair and sits down beside the bed holding a clipboard. Trish clears her throat but I don't stop crying. "Okay Lola you need to calm down please" she says in a formal voice but I don't stop. Everywhere hurts. Daniel actually killed me. I feel scared. Terrified.

I quickly sit up and look down at myself seeing I'm not covered in blood. I rip the wires off of me and run into the bathroom. I check the bathtub and see that it's empty. I look into the my reflection in the mirror and see that I'm not covered in blood.

I can hear Trish calling my name in the distance but I block her out, my only concentration is on my reflection as the tears fall from my eyes. I see that there is a small bit of blood on my arm from the wires that were in me. I stop crying and start to breath fast. I'm having a panic attack.

I punch the mirror trying to make the blood go away from my reflection and watch the glass shatter into pieces. I feel Trish's hands on my upper arms but I shake her off.

I lift my hand up and watch the the blood slowly fall down from my knuckles to my arm. I'm frozen in my place but at the corner of my eye I see Trish getting a needle at the side of my bed coming towards me.

I jump to the door slamming it shut and locking it before she can get to me. These doors are steel so nobody can get in, not even a werewolf.  "LOLA STOP OR ELSE I WILL CALL SECURITY!" She screeches but I block her voice out again.

I remember the words I thought to myself while I was out. I deserve to die. I was right, I only cause stress on others. I'm a failure. A disappointment. I'm not perfect. I'm the opposite. Damaged. I'm damaged and scared. I'm far from perfect.

I grab a part of the glass from the mirror and bring it to my wrist. I stop a few inches from it. No don't do this! I can get through this! But I can't. I'm scared of everything. I can't even save someone without putting myself in danger. I'm nothing. My hand starts to shake. What am I saying?! I can't die, I have so much to live for! What about Ethan? What will he do?

My thoughts come to a halt when I hear the voice of him. "LOLA OPEN THE DOOR!" Ethan shouts so loud the shattered pieces of glass on the counter shakes. Why am I not moving? I stay rooted to the spot I'm standing in. He sounds like he's suffering. I should end his suffering by ending me right?

I'm only bringing him danger. Daniel is out to kill me and so is someone else most likely. I don't deserve him. He needs someone better. Someone who isn't damaged.

All my life I've been fed with lies. "Lola you're so amazing" LIAR! "Lola you truly are perfect!" LIAR! "Lola your incredible" ALL LIES! I'm nothing. How could Ethan possibly love me? No, I've got to stop thinking this way! Snap out of this Lola! Come on, get it together!

As if somebody slapped me in the face I back away and stare at the glass in my hand in horror. What am I doing? I drop the glass on the ground and grab my injured hand that is starting to sting with pain. "NOOOOOO!" I scream so loud my throat burns.

My senses come alive again and I hear my Ethan. "LOLA OPEN THIS GOD DAMN DOOR NOW!" he shouts and bangs on it trying to get it open. I stare at the door and the tears fall down my face. "Ethan!" I sob and try to stand up but I end up slipping on my blood. "Lola please open the door! You're scaring me" he whispers and I wrap my arms around my legs. "I can't" I say in a broken whisper. "What do you mean you can't baby?" He asks in a strained voice. "I can't move.....there's too much....." I drift off and the tears blur my vision. "Tell me" Ethan says, his voice full of sadness. "T-there's too m-much blood" I say and bawl my eyes out.

I hear Ethan's silent cries on the other side of the door. "Help me! P-please I need you!" I cry out, worried he's going to leave me. "Baby....I'm getting you out of here. Just give me a second okay?" Ethan says in a broken voice trying to control his crying. I nod even though I know he can't see me.

I close my eyes leaning my head on the bathtub. Breathe Lola, just breathe. I shoot my eyes open when I feel myself turn into Melissa. Why am I turning into her right now?! Oh my god why didn't I think of this myself? I could burn the door down this whole time!

"Ethan" I say with a hoarse voice because of all my crying. "Yeah!" I hear him shout from a distance. "I could-" I clear my throat "-burn the door down?" I say in a question and Ethan goes silent. Contemplating my decision.

"Can I try something first?" He asks after a minute, his voice coming closer to the door. I furrow my brows in confusion. What is he up to?

Hey cherries🍒 That was a very emotional chapter but I hoped you liked it! Suicide is never the answer. If you are having these thoughts please talk to someone!

The next chapter is less emotional I promise. Please vote, promote and follow me if you want:) See you very soon with a new chapter;)
Amy