I Am My Own (Reader x Thranduil)

Chapter 26

Thranduil left bed early the next morning. I could tell he was making it a point not to rouse me by his careful movements and his attempt to be as quiet as possible. It didn't help. I'm a light sleeper, as most elves are, and I could feel the weight of his body lift from the matress. I lay quietly for a moment, just listening to him do his best to stay quiet. Finally I turned over in the bed to find him sitting and pulling on a pair of boots.

"Leaving so soon," I asked, realizing my voice sounded disappointed. I didn't want him to go. I just wanted to be with him this morning.

Thranduil moved his eyes upward and met mine with a twinkle of the morning light that was breaking it's way throught the sheer curtains that swayed on the smooth stone floor as a breeze swept through the room.

When he didn't say anything back and instead continued to put on his boots, I persisted.

"Do you really have to go?"

He walked over to my side of the bed and kissed the top of my head and then moved down to my lips. When I responded to his actions with a deeper passion, trying to pull him in with my kiss, he recoiled slightly.

"Don't do that," he whispered against my lips, "Or I'll have to stay here."

"Alas! You've uncovered my perfect scheme," I said playfully and placed my hands on his chest.

I knew that would send him over the edge and he confirmed my assumption when he pushed me backward onto the bed slowly while planting kisses on down my neck. I sighed with pleasure and ran my hands through his hair.

"Okay," I giggled, "The game is up. I know you have to go."

He pecked my lips one last time before standing back up and smoothing his disheveled clothing.

"My father has insisted on stricter training for our guard and since I'm the commander of the guard under my father, that means stricter training and exercises for me as well."

I noticed the weariness in his eyes as he made his way across the room to where his sword was placed atop a wooden desk.

"Thranduil," I said. I waited for him to acknowledge me before I continued.

He turned back to me while securing the weapon at his side.

"Are you alright?"

It felt strange asking that question. I've had it asked to me many times but when I asked him, my heart raced in anticipation of his answer. I wanted him to be okay. I wanted him to feel peace.

He attempted a smile but it was tired and worn.

"Of course," he said dryly.

I raised my eyebrows with a quick tilt of my head. He sighed and looked at the ground when he realized I wasn't convinced.

"Sauron is growing bolder. It's my father's job to see that our people are prepared as best as possible for an oncoming war. I can feel tension building up in him and I guess some of that pressure has fallen on me."

"Are we at war?"

"At the moment, no. But it's only a matter of time."

I took this into consideration. War would mean Thranduil would be leaving me at some point and with that would come the concern of him not coming home at all. I felt a panic surge in my chest that nearly sent me flying from the bed to cling onto my husband and never let him go, but instead I pushed the nervous feeling down and said, "I see," weakly.

"Please don't worry yourself, my love," he said as he picked up a silver circlet that had layed atop the desk and proceeded to casually swing it back and forth between his fingers as if it weren't a symbol of his exceedingly high rank. He gave a true smile. "So long as my heart still beats, I promise to keep you and this kingdom safe, no matter the cost."

As long as my heart still beats... I knew he meant what he said and that's what worried me most. It could cost him his own life.

I nodded so he'd know I understood perfectly what he meant even though he had misread my concern for him to be concern for myself instead.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he finalized by putting on the circlet.

I watched him leave. I thought bleakly for a moment on what it might be like if he never came back through that door. I thought about what my life would have in store if I was left to live without this newfound love. The mere idea of living without him brought back the urge to sent run after him. I quickly threw the sheets from my body and walked to the recently moved in armoire that held my belongings. I shook the pessimistic thoughts from my mind and eagerly set out to start my day in order to distract me.

Just like the day before I went in search for Daealla in hopes of receiving a task to keep me busy. When I found her instructing a group of servants, each holding baskets of fresh produce, I waited patiently for her to finish speaking before finally making my way up to her.

When she turned, her smile brightened my mood. She motioned the help away with one quick swift of her hand I watched them disperse immediately

"How are you this morning, (Y/N)?"

"Very well, My Queen," I curtsied, "Hoping to make myself useful today. Is there perhaps anything that needs attending to?"

"My dear," she exclaimed, "I admire your eagerness to help, but we have plenty of workers. There really is nothing I can think of that needs to be done."

Feeling useless and bit lost I diverted my eyes to the ground and twisted the wedding ring I never seemed to take off.

"I see, My Queen."

Daealla, immediatly noticing my discomfort, spoke gently.

"I know it probably still feels strange. Being here I mean. I promise there will be plenty to do with time. And cast aside the formalities! I am your mother-in-law after all!"

Her smile widened and it brought me a calming feeling. I enjoyed being with her. Her inviting brown eyes would ease any stress I might have and the rosy pink shade of her cheeks brought a youthful glow to her face that made her look innocent. However, I knew if she were to ever lose her composure she would be a fearful sight to behold in the most respectable way possible.

"Yes, of course," I smiled, "I understand there's not much to be done, but perhaps there is something productive that you could have me do?"

"Ah, I see," she said while nodding, "I would know that look anywhere. You want a distraction."

How did she know? Was I not as good at hiding my intentions as I thought I was? I didn't say anything. I just nodded and looked at the ground, ashamed for some reason.

"I remember my first few days with Oropher," she said as we began to walk down the long hallway, "Granted, we were given more time to adjust than what Thranduil and you were. I told my husband to leave you two be for at least a week but he was persistent and completely determined to have Thranduil at every discussion and meeting that has to with preparing for war."

That word made my stomach tumble but I tried not to show my discomfort by adjusting my posture to assume confidence.

"It will get easier I promise."

We had made it to the front doors of the palace and Daealla gestured to two guards standing nearby.

"Follow Lady Y/N and don't let her out of your sight," she said gently but affirmatively, "My son would not be happy of his wife went missing... Again."

My cheeks burned at this and I looked at her with question in hopes of understanding what she was going to have me do.

"Visit the people in the city. Talk with them. They will be wanting to see their new princess. I hope this will be a sufficient distraction."

I grinned and nodded.

"I believe so My Queen."

"And I think it will do you good to get out of the palace for a bit. If Thranduil asks, I'll let him know where you are."

I nodded, bowed and set off for the main part of the city with the two guards trailing close behind me.