The Imperishable Flame⎪✓

❨17❩

♀︎

Scanning all the random letters I ignore the pounding headache. Grabbing a book from the shelf in the local library, I scan the pages and decide on not getting it. Perhaps the seventh time is the charm today. Nothing in here grabs my attention anymore, it seems ridiculously difficult to find a good book and it annoys me a little. Right now I need nothing more than to escape reality for a little while, but now I'm stuck in the annoying space that is my mind. 

Ever since the session with Elijah two days ago, my feelings have grown to a new and scary extent. It would be so selfish of me to jeopardize his future with Tilly, which is why I'm in dire need of a distraction. My mind is reeling with every possible outcome for him and me, there's something dark in me that wants to be selfish, but I simply can't with him. He deserves the chance to prove his worth of custody over his sister. 

"You have got to be kidding me," A slightly familiar voice muses behind me. "Dakota?"

Turning around on the spot my eyes widen instantly, a more mature version of Matilda is standing in front of me. Her facial features have changed drastically, these years have been extremely different on her appearance. "Tilly?" I ask in surprise. 

She throws her arms around me in a warm hug, her frame is only a little shorter than mine. "Holy shit, you're really here!"

Letting go of her again I smile in delight, "What is it with me and running into you guys?"

She laughs, "Well I thought it was my turn by now, Elijah talks about you constantly."

"I see you're still outing him even after all these years," I joke and sit down by a table in the back, she follows suit. "How are you?"

"He's my brother if I don't tell on him then who will?" She jokes with an easy laugh. "And I'm good, very good. I miss Hetdale, but Barnsley makes up for it a little bit at least. How are you?"

"Missing Hetdale a whole lot as well, there is nothing for me here. Except for my education, that is," I smile at her when she nods in agreement. 

"I have to keep up with my studies if I want to become a doctor, so I feel you. But there's always an easier way to get good grades, which is to be a nice human being and fawn over the teachers."

"Enjoy it while it lasts, once you reach college none of your professors know your name."

It's true, college is the most impersonal experience in my life on that part. You deliver good assignments and that's it, none of the whole sucking up to your teachers. It doesn't help anymore. 

"So I've heard," She ponders. "But maybe I could make myself kno-"

"Matilda!" A girl suddenly yells from the distance and urges her over frantically. "We're going to be late."

"Excuse me, my friend is a perfectionist and she wants to show up on time. Apparently showing up late leaves a bad impression, who knew?" She says and shrugs her shoulders. "It was so nice seeing you again, Dakota. Please don't be a stranger."

Nodding at her, "I'll see you around, Tilly."

She runs away immediately after. It shocks me how much she has changed during the years, even though it makes sense, she's a teenager now. Seeing her makes it more real how important Elijah is to her well-being, he needs to be there for her and ensure that she has a happy childhood. He knows how to handle her and loves her so much that he won't ever let anything bad happen to her. 

My phone buzzes and I answer it immediately, "Dakota."

"Hi, my baby," My mom's voice drawls through the phone. "Long time no talk. Are you feeling okay?"

"I am absolutely fine, mother," My clipped tone is instinct by now. She is still dealing with substance abuse and lies about it constantly, I have decided to keep that as far away from my life as possible. Exactly like my dad wanted. "What can I help you with?"

"Can't a mom call her daughter just to hear her voice?"

"Not you."

"Fine," She huffs. "I need some money for this upcoming weekend, there are some bills I need to pay and they will shut off the water if I don't."

"The water bill isn't due for another three weeks," Even though she lives far away from Hetdale, I still know the ups and downs of her bills. "Don't lie to me."

"Why are you always on my case?" She hisses and the alcoholic appears in her voice again. 

"If you called to fight, then I have a lot more constructive and urgent matters to attend. Now, if you'll excuse m-"

"Wait!" She cuts me off. "Kota, I need to pay for your dad's spot in the cemetery. You know how important that spot is to me."

"Maybe dad failed in informing you, but he covered all the bills of his funeral and everything in regards to that. Please don't use him as a method against me, you want money so you can drink the weekend away and I refuse to give it to you."

"You never helped with anything, in the long run, he died and you fucking ran away like a pathetic cowar-"

"Goodbye, mother."

Cutting the call after that, I shake the bad feelings off. My new life is too happy to be dealing with her, she refused to get help and I've offered to pay for rehab on multiple occasions, none of which she accepted. She doesn't want to be helped and my mental health can't deal with having her in my life anymore, not when she has these deep issues. 

Packing up my stuff, I hurry out of the library and want to get home immediately. Lucy will be able to get my mind off both Elijah and my mom, which is exactly what I need at the moment. My peace and quiet, along with the friendship I have with my roommate. She isn't Dani or Relly, but I appreciate the place she holds in my life. Very much so.