The Imperishable Flame⎪✓

❨39❩

♀︎

Barging into the empty dorm, I collect all of my stuff in a huge suitcase. Desperately flinging my clothes into the cramped space, grabbing my pictures from the walls, my diplomas, my notebooks. A picture of Lucy and I hugging each other after I got my degree in Business is bittersweet, our smiles were so honest back then. Shaking my head, I throw it onto the bed. Everything that is mine, even down to the flowers on the windowsill is packed. No part of me is left in the room when I'm done. Grabbing a piece of paper I write a note to my roommate, hoping that she reads it and leaves me alone. 

'Hey,
Leaving Barnsley for good. It has been a fucking rollercoaster and I don't want to participate in any of this shit anymore. I hope you have a great time with Travis and I wish for the two of you to have an amazing life together, hopefully without brainwash. 
Keep your head up. Lose my number. Wallow in self-pity. Oh, and remember, the trash gets picked up tomorrow - Be ready.
Love, Dakota'

Smiling at the note I leave it on my bed, before grabbing my bags and my suitcase. How fucking sad is it that I'm able to fit my entire life into these small spaces. Shaking my head, I open the door and leave a lingering look into the room filled with memories, allowing myself to feel a little sad that every memory will be left behind. That my friendship with Lucy is forever tainted and ruined. This is for the best though, I know it is. My dad wouldn't have wanted me to stay friends with someone who used me and never said thanks. 

Closing and locking the door I slide the key underneath, not wanting to have anything that ties me to Barnsley anymore. Readjusting the strap of my bag, I track down the hallway when a man suddenly steps into my line of sight. My eyes meet Wyatt's, he is smiling down at me and sends a weird look towards my bags. He clearly is confused about where I'm going.  

"You going on a trip or something?" He asks with an underlying tone of questioning.

Not feeling up for the conversation at all, I shrug my shoulders, "Or something."

"You're leaving, aren't you?" The certainty in his voice breaks my tough facade and I nod my head, not wanting or feeling the need to lie anymore. 

Tapping my foot twice I tilt my head to the side, "There's nothing for me here anymore, Wyatt. I've been unhappy for months and this is the last straw."

He nods his head and abruptly grabs my suitcase from my grip, requesting me to hand over my bags and I do, "Let me help you at least, you look miserable."

"I'm not miserable," I try, but the bitter taste it leaves in my mouth makes me flinch, knowing how fucking dishonest I'm being to him. He raises an eyebrow at me and I shake my head, "Thank you."

We leave for my car and a certain numbness washes over my heart, this is the right thing to do and it will get easier with time. Unlocking the door, he maneuvers my suitcase into the backseat along with my bags. It fits perfectly and I'm happy that he offered to help me, it would be torture for me to try to make everything fit with my jumbled thoughts. 

He turns towards me and envelops me in a surprising and warm hug, I allow myself to return the kind gesture, "You will be good, Dakota. Don't worry too much, this is a new and exciting chapter for you."

Nodding against his chest, I step away from him and give him a small smile, "I'm sorry for the attitude I gave you constantly."

He waves me off, "It doesn't matter, I wasn't the nicest to you either."

Not knowing what to say or do, I sit down in the car and close the door behind me. He waves at me and walks away from the parking lot, allowing me to collect my thoughts before I leave everything behind. There is a certain dread inside of me, but more than anything, there is a need for something different. A need for my hometown, a need for me to find myself, and love myself. A need to feel closer to my dad again.

With that in mind, I turn on the car and drive away from the place I've referred to as home for years now. Driving away from every memory, every heartache, from every kiss, every touch. Driving away from my past and the person I hoped could've been my future. 

The buzzing streets of Barnsley help me direct my attention towards strangers, how all of them are living their separate lives with their own versions of heartbreak. None of us are alone in this mess of a life, but all of us feel loneliness if even for a bit. 

The long drive to my hometown is exhausting and I find my eyes dropping from tiredness. Five minutes later, the familiar sign of 'Hetdale' meets me and I relax in the familiarity and comfort of driving down these cozy streets. I've always loved it here, this is my home and I knew I would end up here sooner or later. 

Everything looks the same, when I roll down the window I take a deep breath and Hetdale even smells the same. Nothing about this place has changed, but there is a change in me that makes everything here appear more beautiful. You never really know how much you've missed home until you have left it for a while. 

Deciding to find the nearest hotel, I drive into the parking lot of the blue house with white windows. I know the owners and a big part of me hopes there's room for me in there, even though it's terribly late to be hoping for a room. Grabbing my suitcase, I leave the rest of my stuff in the car and walk inside the hotel. Spotting Mr. Cranbry instantly, he smiles when he spots me and tugs me into a warm and familiar hug. 

"It's so nice to see you again, Dakota. How have you been?" He asks in his hoarse voice from all the years of smoking. 

Smiling I pull away from him lightly, "I've been okay, and yourself?"

"Amazing, business is running smoothly and that's all I can ask really. Do you need a room?" The familiarity of his smile makes me relax in his company.

Nodding, "I was hoping for a room."

"Sure thing, darling," He grabs a key from behind the counter immediately and hands it off to me. "Number 23, do you need help getting settled?"

I shake my head and grab my suitcase, "No thank you, Mr. Cranbry. Have a nice evening!"

He reciprocates my regards and I walk away from him, searching for number 23 and finding it by the end of the right hall. Unlocking the door, I walk inside and enjoy the sheets covered with flowers. Placing my suitcase by the closet and locking the door behind me, I throw myself onto the soft bed, a wave of exhaustion hitting me. My eyes close on instinct and I allow sleep to dictate.