silent it was in the dining room they sat, the sounds of their chewing could only be heard. blue eyes glancing up at his lover. anxiety races through his veins as he slowly gulps down his food. the same thought passes through his head as he tries his hardest to push it into the back of his head.
kageyama stares at his lover. pretty, she was. not only that but she'd been kind, understanding. and yes, perhaps it was a bit cheesy or cliché─ but it was true. it's what attracted kageyama to her. there had been kindness in her eyes, a gentleness. she had one of those smiles that laughed with ease. she'd been the kind of person who lived how she believed people should─ freely. she'd always been kind to everyone, her friends, her enemies as if their flaws entirely invisible to her gaze.
he'd never understand why she'd chosen him in the first place.
you could have said kageyama was always a loner. i mean, he'd gone as far as he can on this path alone. pushing people away, snapping at them if they'd gone too close. it happened to hinata─ hell, it happened to even herself. but she still tried, unwavering by the coldness of the boy. and somehow, this makes his heart ease a little bit more, knowing she'd always be there for him as the tension in his shoulders relaxes.
"y/n-chan..."
he finally manages to speak. his chest still heavy as his stomach continued to fill with dread, a churning feeling in it. he places his fork down gently, eyes trained on hers. she looks back almost instantly, as if knowing he'd been wanting to say something. and she had. she's always known by the way he'd acted, his mannerism and his hesitation. to her, reading kageyama was like looking through clear glass. "yes, love?" she answers gently, like she always has.
everything had been going so smoothly between them in their relationship, kageyama had been scared to have ruined that by asking this. not that it would ruin their relationship, no. he was sure y/n wouldn't ever let something as such ruin their relationship. though, he just hated being too intimate, to be so close to someone, to be judged.
his fingers fiddled together under the dining table, his eyes rapidly moving, looking into her eyes. lips slowly parting, a shaky breath escapes them. desperately trying to hide how fearful he was. he could always control the tremor in his voice to a degree or consciously will his body movements to be less stilted. even pasting a small smile, if he could. but it would always be clear to her that he was scared.
y/n was well aware of this and her heart still broke everytime, knowing that she'd never be able to make him feel at full ease. that was never kageyama's style. he had to worry about something. even if he had seemed to be the calmest in the room, there was always a small lingering thought that scratched the back of his head. urging for him to tell her.
