"Are you recycling your eye bags or just choosing not to get any sleep"
if this hits 1M reads i'll edit it
(remus lupin x o/c)
(mature content)
Cover by nicbelles
𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅
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[xiii. why, who me, why?]
To say Jackie woke up early would be an understatement. She had to get to the Great Hall before Remus did that way she had a chance to catch him while he ate. She walked fast Marlene grumbled about the new fast pace and their early time. Then they sat in their normal spot and Jackie watched the doorway, watching for him.
At some point Vivian joined the two and talked to Marlene but Jackie's eyes never left the doorway. He never came. She was so hurt, that he would rather skip breakfast then talk to her. He truly didn't want anything to do with her.
She was grateful that the tall wall that separates her from the rest of the world, kept him from getting to her. She was angry and hurt that he was abandoning her but her heart was intact. She almost let him break down her wall. See all of her but he left before she got the chance.
After breakfast she headed to class. Her first class of the day and the first one she shares with Remus. So when she made it to Transfiguration and he wasn't there he confusion grew as she took her seat. Then right before the bell he darted in and sat down. Then Magonigall started her lesson for the day.
After a while the class had gotten quiet and Mgnoigall was done with her leauture. Jackie leaned up slightly and whiphered remus's name. Not loud enough it bothered anyone else. After the fifth time with no reaction she leaned back in her seat. She made no effort to talk to him again.
As soon as the class was dismissed he shot out of his seat and was out of the classroom faster than Jackie had time to pack her things. That's how the rest of their classes went. Him making it in the nick of time and then being the first to leave. Her classes without him go slow while the ones with him go fast.
At the end of the day she hadn't gotten to talk to him at all. Throughout the day she grew more and more mad. He wouldn't even tell her he didn't want her anymore. He could have some decency and tell her that he's done with her. She walked to the courtyard to watch the sunset and take Salem out for the day.
She made it there sitting in one of the arches on the side when the guy who had spent the past three days ignoring her walked out. He looked tired, but even then he was attractive. She watched him get halfway through the courtyard when she finally called out for him.
He kept walking but this time she was fueled by anger, so she kept yelling louder and louder. By the time she got him to turn around they were a good amount away from Hogwarts. He looked back at her not with hate or anything cruel but with a small amount of sadness. Jackie didn't understand why he was so upset. She was the one he was ignoring. She was the one supposed to be hurting.
"Why are you ignoring me, I've been trying to talk to you for like three days now. You can at least have the decency to tell me you don't like me. Why couldn't you tell me you were done with me."
"Im protecting you, it's better if you're away from me."
"That's not an answer. I can protect myself, so explain why you don't like me anymore."
There was a moment of silence
"Did I say something wrong? I like you, I do. Why are you doing this to me."
Remus looked up at the full moon rising and knew no matter what he said she wasn't going to listen, he had to hurt her to get her to go.
"I don't like who i am when i'm with you."
"What does that even mean."
Remus looked up and the full moon and it was too late. He felt it start in his toes. It traveled but maybe if she ran now she would have a chance to make it.
"It means I don't like you. Is that it, Is that what you want me to say."
"No i want you to tell me why"
He was out of time. He looked at her tear stained face, his heart broke for her. Remus was no longer Remus. The last thing he heard was her scream.
In the morning he woke up and went to search for the blonde girl in the infirmary, he repeatedly told himself that she would be okay. He believed if he said it enough he would believe it. She had to be okay. When he made it to the infirmary he looked everywhere for her.
When she wasn't there he thought that maybe she wasn't hurt at all and walked out despite madam pomfrey's calls. He didn't care about the ache in his legs or the scratches that were being torn back open. He had to see her. He had to know she was okay.
He was about halfway to the great hall when he fell. He was struggling to stand when he felt the familiar hand of Sirius Black.
"She's not going to be there. She's not going to be anywhere."
Remus slowly turned around and met Sirius' sad eyes. She was gone, her smile, her laugh. The light she brought into the world he had snuffed out. She died without ever showing him all of her.
Remus Lupin had killed Jackie Emmerson, and now he had to go on for her.
