Serilda

Chapter 38

Serilda

I twisted my fingers so nervously that my hands hurt. Everything had been too much and so overwhelming that I couldn't decide what to do and what not to do. There was nothing I could think of than having him operated. The reports came back and the hope that everything was alright didn't come back. The tumor in his head didn't look good, the symptoms as he was kept under observation for a day didn't give faith. Every tear from his eyes due to unbearable pain had killed me. Each slip of the tongue had hit me in my gut. There was a need for him to be operated urgently or else he might lose more than just memories. The doctor had looked me in the eyes and told me that there can't be any delay. He was a doctor who wanted to save his patient and I was a wife who didn't want to lose him.

The decisions were made without any consultation from Aaron. It was all me.

Nothing can't be turned back in time. It was only a way ahead from where we would have to see where we had to go. Our path was undecided. Our future couldn't be seen in the mist and there wasn't anything we both could do. Everything was in the hands of fate and all that we could do was flow in the sea of fate and time.

And that is what we did.

It had been just four days since I had met the doctors for the first time. Four days where he had been tested and observed. Just a single day we had for each other. He hadn't cried neither did I. Maybe we both were trying our best to keep up that front of being brave. All that we had done was laid in the bed. Holding onto each other with our eyes being the windows of our soul looking into each other.

We were trying to make up for all the time that we had lost or maybe lose. Till the very last second until he was taken into the OPD we had held onto each other hands. We couldn't change anything. His life was in the hands of another and my life was in his too.

Now I sat here waiting for the news that could give me hope. My fingers going to my wedding band again and again. All I needed was something to assure me that we could make it out of it. Nothing helped. Nothing eased my mind. No hope to help me survive. All that was left to wait.

Waiting.

It was the worst thing that one could do. All the waiting and you didn't know what was to come.

I desperately wanted Aaron to come back alive and remember me. I was insecure. Scared that he won't be able to love me again.

How funny it was that in desperate times such as this where my husband was getting operated and I was sitting out here all the hope and faith couldn't be found even in the deepest of heart and soul. There was nothing to keep me warm and calm. Nothing to help the desperation that clawed me from the inside.

I could lose everything and scared me to the depths of my bone and soul.

I sat there in the waiting area without any knowledge of what was going on. I had given my life to Aaron and right now his was in the hands of a team of doctors.

I wanted to curse the world, the fates the gods but I couldn't. There wasn't anything and none I could hate right now but myself. For so long I had hated god. But right now, at this moment I begged him.

Please save him. Take my life instead of mine.

Just please save him. I would do everything you ask.

Please don't take him away from him.

I begged the almighty putting all my faith in him. I would trade with the devil just to save the love of my life. Give up my life just to make sure he was safe and secure. Love makes you crazy things. It made everything beautiful but at the same time, it drives you to the madness of love and hatred.