Serilda

Amelia: Where it all started

Twenty-years earlier

Amelia

The heat of the fire whispered to me that I hadn't done anything wrong. The matchbox in my hand wasn't just a simple box it was a weapon.

A weapon of destruction just like he has been for me.

The smell of burning wood didn't soothe the agony I suffered in. It didn't do anything to help but I wanted to think that it was helping me. That it was helping me erase the pain I suffered.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, desperation, and anger flowing with them but never-ending. I had done this.

It couldn't be undone now. A sob broke out of me as I watched the house burn. The matchbox slipping away from my hands holding on to the earth as my tears mixed with the earth. I beat the soft mud under me with my hands as another sob broke out of me. The pain inside of me intensifying. The realization of what I had done in the name of love and war hitting me hard.

I had stood there as I heard the first screams. I didn't try to help. No, I hadn't been able to. It was too late. Nothing could be done. I was so wrong, so crazy and so desperate.

I had slipped. I had promised not to see them again but those green eyes looking at me each day made me slip but more than that she had made me slip.

It wasn't my intention to do this. I just wanted to meet him. I just wanted us to have a talk to know the answers to my whys. I had been civil. There were no cries of desperation from me but then she had to come down and ruin it all. Screaming at me to get out while I begged for having just talk. She was the one who had pushed me, threatened me. She was the one who had cried and he had just stood there looking away from me.

Calling me names but she was the one who had wrecked it all. She had come between us. He was mine. I had called him mine and he had said I was his. We were so happy. I cried for all those happy times that we had until he realized the truth. Until she decided to come home.

The way he had stepped away from me when he saw her. I could see the confusion in his eyes and only when she saw me, she realized. It was like looking into the mirror. Her eyes and hair just a copy of me. We both were copies of each other. It was just I had loved him but it was her whom he loved.

He had just wanted my sister but he had never known of me. The first time I met him when I came to meet Celia, my twin sister who had severed every link with the family and me all because she opposed to getting married to my father's friend for our own financial safety. I had seen him then. The guy with those beautiful green eyes and a dazzling smile in the bar. There was this pull I had felt towards him that I couldn't break out anything. He didn't see me that day no one but only my sister did.

I wanted her to come back to be a part of the family but she declined. I left with a last plead but she said she was happy where she was and was getting married too. Only when she showed me his picture, I felt something form inside of me. It was jealousy.

I had Joel, a beautiful baby girl, and everything but still, I wasn't happy. She was with him. I watched from the edge as my obsession with him grew. Every time he touched her, I wanted it to be me. So, when my sister decided to go on a trip with her friends on hiking, I stepped in as her. I studied my own sister and became her. It was hard to make believe that it was me but all I wanted to feel was the love that he had for her.

For a week I pretended and each night we made love. It was on a fateful evening she came back and saw me.

Neil didn't know what was going on. He knew something was a miss but I dazed him with drugs just to feel loved. But when Celia came in I knew it all was over there was crying and so much anger in her voice. Screaming on top of her lungs. Her hands hitting me but my eyes were on him. He made me felt loved more and more and ever and ever.