Beyond the Stars: A Continuation of The Rise of Skywalker; A Reylo Story

Stupidly Vulnerable

Ben

"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this." Rey's words replayed through Ben's head.

He tossed and turned, gripping his pillow as if clenching hard enough would make the memory go away.

It was no use though.

Ben sat up in his bed, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

Sleepless nights were no stranger to him. He had experienced several, too many to count when he was Kylo Ren.

Light started to peek through the blinds of his room.

Ben would just have to start his day a little earlier.

He walked into the shower, letting the warm water wash his worries away.

Ben closed his dark eyes as he hung his head under the faucet.

He was met by Rey's angry form.

"Don't you realize how hard this is for me?"

His eyes snapped open, his head pounding.

Or was there someone at the door?

Ben hopped out of the shower, quickly drying his hair as he pulled on a pair of black sweats and a t-shirt. He made his way to the door and opened it.

Han and Leia were behind it.

"Mom, Dad." Ben smoothed his hair back from his face. "What are you guys doing here?"

Leia cleared her throat. "You invited us over for breakfast, sweetie."

"Oh." Ben stared at the floor. "I'm sorry, I forgot."

"You look terrible, kid." Han stated dryly.

Leia smacked him in the arm. "Han!"

"What? His face is all red and blotchy. You were think-"

"It's okay, Ben. We'll help you make it." Leia cut him off.

Ben stepped aside to let them in.

Leia went right to work washing fruit. "You do look as though you didn't sleep well. Is there something wrong?"

"I rarely get a good night's sleep." Ben began to fry some meat on the stove.

"You avoided your mother's question." Han retorted as he cracked some eggs. "That's the Skywalker side in him talking."

"Moreso Solo." Leia shot back.

Ben suppressed an eye roll.

"I'm fine, Mom."

"Oh, you are?" Leia turned to look at him, cocking an eyebrow.

"You forget, son, that I am also Force sensitive and, though I'm not able to read minds like you can, I can sense your emotions. Right now, the way you're feeling is as if someone died. So, no. You're not fine."

Ben dragged a hand across his face as he exhaled. "I had a fight with Rey last night."

The air in the room tensed.

"About what?" Leia prodded gently.

"She wasn't sure how much longer she could handle our relationship." Ben gulped.

"And I told her that I loved her."

Han nearly dropped his fork in the eggs. "You did?"

"How did she respond?" Leia smiled.

Ben swallowed, feeling as if there was ice in his lungs as he remembered the part that hurt the most.

"She just stood there with a surprised look on her face, as if she didn't have a clue how I felt about her. I thought I was being obvious."

"What did you do then?"

"I told her that I was going to give her some time to think."

A feeling of dread settled in his chest, as if he already knew what Rey's response would be.

There was a clatter with a knife before Ben felt Leia's hand on his shoulder blade.

He shrugged it off, using it as an excuse to take the meat off the stove.

"That was a very brave thing for you to do, son."

"And stupid. So stupidly vulnerable." Ben swallowed down his bitterness.

"I just told someone that I loved them for the first time in who knows when, only to remember how big of an idiot I am. I should've known that girls like Rey don't belong with guys like me."

He hung his head. "I'll always be Kylo Ren."

"Benjamin Solo, you stop that!" Leia's voice became harsh, before softening again.

"You and I both know that it has been a long time since Rey thought of you as Kylo Ren."

She paused. "You also need to put yourself in her shoes. Think of how Rey grew up and how long she was alone. Do you think she's ever heard anyone before you, besides Zander, tell her that they loved her?"

Ben stood there silently, unable to speak.

Leia continued. "Of course she didn't know how to respond when you told her that. Rey probably didn't even identify that it was love until after you told her. It's good that you gave her space to think. Now she can process those feelings she may be experiencing."

Ben moved some of the food to the table. "What if, after all this time, Rey has finally realized that she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?"

His voice choked, verbalizing his greatest fear. "I don't know what I'd do without her."

Leia wrapped her arms around him, and this time Ben didn't shy away.

"You don't know for sure if that will happen or not." Han offered his input as he sat down at the table.

"It may seem impossible right now, but we know Rey. Rey has cared about you for a long time, and I don't believe that she'd stop just now. She just needs to clear her head."

"Now," He gestured to the food in front of him.

"Let's stop moping and start eating. I'm starving."