You're Mine | J.JK

0 | Goodbye, Father

[3 years earlier]

I picked up the purple colored pencil filling in the mane on the pink pony. It was dull Friday afternoon, and I needed to rewind after today.

Today was my last day and while most of my classmates were out celebrating, I was here alone.

I was only eighteen but I knew in my heart I was meant to be a small and delicate. My anxiety made me prone to be like this.

I remember being this way since I was able to retain memories. I stayed quiet and never grew out of things like sucking my thumb and coloring cute pictures.

My dad would constantly hammer me about being childish for my age, but little did he know that he made me like this.

When he came home drunk almost every night I would cower into the corner of my room just to avoid his confrontation.

It almost always ended in crimson blood spilling out my nose, and my lip cracked open just like my heart. I even found myself empty, and questioning my existence.

I made myself small on purpose just to avoid him; a defense mechanism.

Just as I was about done with this coloring page I heard the front door swing open with full force.

'Beep, Beep, Beep' went the door. My father came home early. What time was it??

Without more questions I frantically closed my coloring book and tried to shove all the colored pencils back in their case. I heard my dads loose voice but also a woman's high pitched giggle.

"Let me meet your daughter, we've been seeing each other for months." The woman slurred obviously drunk. From what I could tell they were both drunk from the stumbles I heard coming down the hallway.

They were nearing my room and I haven't finished putting my colored pencils away. I need to hide.

"Why do you want to see her, she's an idiot Missy." My dad hissed now outside my door. My already dismembered heart ached at his harsh words. He insulted me every chance he got.

I was putting the last colored pencil away, panicking when the doorknob twisted. I hadn't been able to hide them fast enough.

The two of them barged in my room stumbling over each other. My shaky eyes immediately locked with the woman's. She was young and tall juxtaposing my dad who was round, short, and old.

"See?! Look a her, coloring like she's an idiot." He taunted the strong scent of alcohol lingering on his breath. As he approached me the wretched smell became more potent.

"It is pretty unusual for an eighteen year old to color in a children's coloring book." The woman known as Missy peeked over my dads shoulder looking at my princess themed book.

"Right? I told her to go find her mom, but she doesn't even speak." He said frowning at me before snatching my coloring book away.

I grumbled not opening my mouth. He opened it up and tore each page out. The sound of the paper ripping apart was engraved in my mind. The crisp ripping made my skin crawl.

I didn't utter a word, I just watched them laugh at me hysterically. The torn images piling on the ground.

Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as I let my dad bully me. The space I was in consumed me and I didn't want to live the way I should.

I just wanted someone to take care of me. I didn't want to do everything myself.

"Aww look at you, so sad about your stupid fucking book. You're a bitch just like your pathetic mother." He spat ripping the last page and dropping the remains to the ground.